The Big Picture

As I mentioned in my last post, I entered a new chapter of my life in August when I started working for a temp agency. So far I've completed my first assignment and start my second one tomorrow. About half way through my first day of work, I noticed something happening that I'd experienced before. When I enter into a new chapter of my life, I'll sometimes meet a person who reminds me of someone from a previous chapter. For example if I'd once had a negative experience with a person named X, I'll find myself  having a positive experience with someone of the same name. Other times I'll meet someone who reminds me of a person I cared about in a previous chapter (or just someone who I'm a great physical distance from now) and it makes me happy to be around them. It's as if The Universe is balancing things out for me, bringing me full circle through an experience. It's a reminder that all of my experiences are connected, that everything happens for a reason.

A few days into my first temp assignment, my supervisor and I were chatting about our pets. I mentioned I was looking for a Boston Terrier puppy but they were proving difficult to find. She perked up in her seat and said "I have a friend who just had a litter of puppies!" The full story was a bit more involved and the puppies turned out to be four hours away, but the owner was willing to meet me half way and so I brought my new buddy home last Friday.

This is a wonderful example of how our lives are full of tiny connections that create the big picture that is our journey. If I didn't play roller derby I would probably never have met my good friend A, whose in-laws own the temp agency which gave me the job with the supervisor who connected me to my new puppy. Whew!

When it first occurred to me to get a new puppy I dismissed the idea. A puppy is a big expense, a huge time commitment and a lifestyle change. Did I even really want a new puppy or was I just wanting back my dog who had passed away? Was it even fair to get a puppy if he'd constantly be compared to Ritz? "I think you're over thinking this" said my life coach. "Of course you want Ritz back but you can't have that and you also want a new puppy." That made sense. I tossed the idea around for a bit, meditated on it and discussed it with my other half. Then I decided I wanted a boy Boston Terrier puppy and I put it out to The Universe. Within a few weeks, the connections were made and now I have an adorable little dog who I already love with my whole heart. On his first morning home, I took him outside and sprinkled some of Ritz's ashes along the fence in our back yard, where he loved to patrol and woof at any passerby. All the guilt I was carrying for wanting another dog seemed to lift away. I felt a sense of closure around Ritz's death that I hadn't in the three months since. I'm not trying to replace him. No dog could ever fill his role because I'll never be in exactly the same place I was emotionally when he came into my life eight years ago. However I did need to feel the void I've felt since his passing. Already the new puppy is doing exactly that. He's a bold, noisy, wiggly, cuddly creature and he's brought a lot of joy into our household. I needed him even more than I'd realized.