Say What?

Not too long ago, out of a combination of desperation and laziness, I went to a business near my neighborhood that I don't normally frequent. It was a cute, clean shop. The woman who helped me was friendly and outgoing. While making small talk, the conversation turned to the up coming July 4th holiday. We were exchanging complaints about fireworks being set off in the evenings already when she added "And it's always the gross people too. You know, the ones who can't even afford to pay their rent. How are they spending hundreds of dollars on fireworks?" I sat silently, feeling a bit shocked and thinking "Holy crap, that was not nice". I just couldn't think of an appropriate response. After only a few seconds pause she started chatting again about something totally different, never seeming to notice my lack of response.

I left that business feeling a bit put off, to say the least. I've given the comment a lot of thought and clearly it's still bugging me since I'm writing about it. Maybe I'm overreacting by finding the comment incredibly rude, but this was a woman who had never met me before and didn't know a thing about me. What exactly qualifies someone as a "gross person"? Maybe I'm gross. Why would you ever assume someone is buying fireworks with their rent money? Then all of a sudden, while ruminating on all of this, I had a realization: I'm judging her for judging other people. I'm doing the same dang thing!

I'm a fan of the old saying "Never judge someone til you've walked a mile in their shoes". I've gone through periods in my life where I've made choices that I thought were best at the time, but lost friends who didn't agree with me. I would like to say I don't ever judge people but we all do it. It's almost impossible not to, isn't it? The guy who cut me off in traffic is a selfish jerk. The person who doesn't pick up their dog's poo is lazy. I catch myself doing it all the time and I give myself a mental slap on the wrist. I consider myself to be a kind, accepting person. I understand that not everyone is the same. Even so, it's difficult to not put my expectations onto others: don't talk loudly on your cell phone in public, pick up after your dog, obey traffic laws, say please and thank you. For me, those are simple things we should all do to be respectful of each other and that's the way I act in public. However we all make mistakes and I'm sure there are things I do that other people don't like, even when I think I'm being polite.

I don't think I'll go into that business again. It's my own little way of saying I'd rather not hear people talk about others that way. I believe The Universe is always teaching us and since this experience I've been more mindful of how I look at others and what I think about them. I am thankful for all the people who have forgiven my poor choices and love me any way so I hope I can be in that role for someone else.

There's A First Time For Everything (And Sometimes They Suck)

This past week has brought a lot of firsts for me: my first trip to the in-laws without Ritz, my first holiday without him and yesterday, my first hike without him trotting along the trail. Just when I think I'm healing and starting to feel better, it hits me out of nowhere and I feel so sad. No matter how hard I try or how much I write, I still can't find the right words to explain exactly how much I miss him.

As I've said, Charlie is doing a great job of being an only dog. This weekend marked his first solo hike with us and he did great. I actually feel a bit bad that I obviously wasn't giving Chuck enough credit previously because every time he does well at something I'm so surprised and pleased. Since he previously belonged to a transient guy, I'm always a little nervous about letting him off leash. I half expect him to bolt after a squirrel and never return. We hiked about eight miles on Saturday, which was the longest hike we've taken him on.

This was my first big hike of the summer and it felt good. Getting into the woods always reminds me why I live here. It's so easy to get caught up in every day life; grocery shopping, gardening, all that regular stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'm usually glad to do those things but sometimes it's exhausting. Sometimes it's just like "I have got to get away from this house and out of this town" and two hours later I'm standing in a field of wild flowers on the side of a mountain. It's amazing.

Read It Again

Last year I started a book club on FaceBook. I had noticed that I had many friends who posted asking for book recommendations or raving about one they had read. These were people who all knew me but didn't necessarily know each other so I thought it'd be neat to invite them all to one group to share our love for books. Everybody was receptive, which I expected, and I have enjoyed seeing them interact with each other. We have a constantly growing list of Suggested Books, which are ones we want to read for our club and then another of Recommended Books, which are ones that some of us have read and think the others would enjoy. About half way through the month, I'll start a post asking what everyone is wanting to read for the following month. Sometimes there are six suggestions and sometimes only one or two. Then majority rules and we pick our book for the next month. Whoever finishes first starts a post (marking it with a spoiler alert!) and we share our thoughts.

The cool thing about our group is not everybody has to participate all the time. There are a few of us who obviously devour books, reading a few each month but there are others who read when they have the time and only post occasionally. This gives us all a place to go for suggestions and discussion at our own pace. I've found it to be awful when I finish a book I and am dying to talk about it but don't know anyone else who has read it!

This month, our selected book is one that I've read before. A couple girls in the group were interested in reading it but I was going to pass and read something else instead. Then the last time I was at the library, I thought I'd just see if they had a copy available. They did so I decided to read it again. It's been at least ten years since I read it. When I was living in North Carolina, a friend here in Montana had mailed me a copy. He had loved it and thought I would too. I only remember a little bit, but I knew I'd liked it, so I figured I'd read it again and be part of our group's discussion.

I cracked it open one evening earlier this week. I was settling down into bed at night, looking forward to reading. You can imagine my surprise when I got about thirty pages in and thought "Yuck. I do not care for this". I actually considered not finishing it. I rarely do that so I decided to power through since it's a fairly short book and easy to read. I'm about two thirds of the way through now and it's a little bit better but I still don't like it much. Typically I don't give it much thought if I don't like a book. It happens. This time however,  it's caused me to stop and reflect on my dislike. A decade ago I did like it so why don't I like it now?  My relationship with the person who sent me the book is different now than it was all those years ago but I still love to read.  It's made me to think about my journey,  about the kind of person I was then and what I liked versus who I am now and what I enjoy these days.  I don't know exactly what can account for this difference but I appreciate it. It does make me wonder about other books (and all sorts of other things) that I've given my stamp of approval over the years. I know they say our taste buds change over the years, maybe that's not just for food?

These Little Piggies

I'm not one of those women who goes crazy over shoes. Sure, I can appreciate a pair of cute shoes. I know they can tie an outfit together, but that's not something I've ever had a sense for. I have a few pairs for each season and a couple for special occasions. I don't add to the collection too often. I won't wear uncomfortable shoes, no matter how amazing they look. Several years ago I broke a bone in my right foot and I have custom orthotics I wear in my shoes (most of the time) so that often limits what kind of shoes I buy.

 I wouldn't wear shoes if I could get away with it. Going barefoot is my favorite thing about summer. I have memories of being a kid in the bath tub, holding my feet out of the water so my mom could scrub my blackened soles. I especially love to be barefoot in my garden. There's something about squishing my toes into the warm dirt that makes me feel like I'm truly joining with the earth in the process of growing my veggies.

I Love A Challenge

Welcome to my first entry of The Ultimate Blog Challenge. I learned of this challenge earlier today, when a blogger friend of mine posted a link on my FaceBook wall. I opened the link, saw it was a daily blogging challenge and immediately clicked to sign up. It was only after I registered for the challenge that I thought "Oh shoot, it's July 1st. I need to start this right away. Uh oh, what have I done?"!

I'm currently unemployed by choice, for the first time in my adult life. I have an incredibly supportive partner who has encouraged me to take this time to decompress and figure some things out. Part of my very loose plan for this time has been to make time for my writing. I've been writing on a daily basis but I often find it difficult to sit and write when there are other things to be done. This challenge will be great for me because it will give me a reason to post every day. I have notebooks full of partially written essays and even more in my mind. I'm glad to have a reason to dig through them all and see what I can come up with!