Where Is It?

My creative genius appears to be absent today. I've shown up and attempted several posts but nothing is coming out right. I have some ideas but they're stalling out. So I've decided to go with this:

I took this picture one afternoon earlier this week when my creative genius was present. I was soaking up the sun by my koi pond, listening to good music and writing, writing, writing. The drink in my hand is ice water with lemon. I was on a roll and feeling great! In the past, on the days when I'm "not feeling it" with my writing I would tend to get frustrated with myself. Recently though, I've learned that it comes and goes and that's normal. I'm grateful for this blogging challenge because I've been able to connect with other writers and I have seen more than a few posts this month that show others deal with the same thing. Why is it so hard for us to accept that? Some days we produce greatness, others not so much.

So here's to today! I spent time with my family, I went to a movie and I didn't write much.

Just Show Up

Back on day ten of this challenge, I was feeling stuck and having trouble writing a post. I wanted to write and had ideas but nothing was flowing. Yet somehow, I managed to write about being unable to write! When I shared my post on FaceBook, one of my friends responded by saying "At least you showed up", and she shared a link to a TED Talk by author Elizabeth Gilbert about creative genius. If you write, or do anything else creative, take the time to watch her talk, it's not long and it will make you feel much better about the days you struggle to create.

During this challenge, I have been reading a lot of other blogs and there seems to be a common debate on whether bloggers are writers. I wasn't aware that was an issue. It seems like a no brainer to me. We're writing our blog posts, aren't we? It reminds me of when I first started running and doing races (5Ks and 10Ks). People would say "Oh you're a runner?" and I would answer "Well, I run but I'm not a runner". In my head there was a big difference between me and "actual runners". I don't know why. I've done the same sort of thing with roller derby too. I was putting myself on a different level than everyone else just because I'm less experienced. I've been working on that a lot lately and I've noticed what a huge difference there is in my performance when I change my self talk.

Oddly, my opinion of myself is much different when it comes to writing. I am a writer. Maybe not a professional one (yet!) but I've always loved it and been good at it. I've taken many writing classes and been involved in writing programs. I've even written a few articles that have been published. If I don't write regularly I become a mess inside my head, all these thoughts and feelings rolling around. I've got to get them out! I've kept a journal since I was 16. I've written every day for years and now I post it, people read it and they like it!

Last week I was talking with a friend who has been reading my posts for this challenge. We were discussing the subject of that particular day's post and it was a great feeling. As I told her then, we probably wouldn't have been having that conversation if I didn't blog. A lot of the things I write about wouldn't come up in a normal conversation. I put my thoughts out there and people can take them or leave them. When someone approaches me and wants to talk about what I've written, that bonds us a little bit, I think. The fact that people read my blog is extremely flattering.  I know how hectic everyone's lives are and they're taking precious minutes from their day to read what I have to say. That's amazing. I've started carrying a notebook with me everywhere I go because I love all the odd little things that happen during the course of a regular day that most people don't notice. I like to write about those things with wit and a positive attitude. It helps remind me that we're all human and deal with the same issues. Knowing that other people relate to my feelings and experiences motivates me to keep going. I don't write just for myself. That's why I show up every day. Sometimes I create something I'm proud of and sometimes I'm stuck but I'm always there with my notebook giving it a shot.