Just Show Up

Back on day ten of this challenge, I was feeling stuck and having trouble writing a post. I wanted to write and had ideas but nothing was flowing. Yet somehow, I managed to write about being unable to write! When I shared my post on FaceBook, one of my friends responded by saying "At least you showed up", and she shared a link to a TED Talk by author Elizabeth Gilbert about creative genius. If you write, or do anything else creative, take the time to watch her talk, it's not long and it will make you feel much better about the days you struggle to create.

During this challenge, I have been reading a lot of other blogs and there seems to be a common debate on whether bloggers are writers. I wasn't aware that was an issue. It seems like a no brainer to me. We're writing our blog posts, aren't we? It reminds me of when I first started running and doing races (5Ks and 10Ks). People would say "Oh you're a runner?" and I would answer "Well, I run but I'm not a runner". In my head there was a big difference between me and "actual runners". I don't know why. I've done the same sort of thing with roller derby too. I was putting myself on a different level than everyone else just because I'm less experienced. I've been working on that a lot lately and I've noticed what a huge difference there is in my performance when I change my self talk.

Oddly, my opinion of myself is much different when it comes to writing. I am a writer. Maybe not a professional one (yet!) but I've always loved it and been good at it. I've taken many writing classes and been involved in writing programs. I've even written a few articles that have been published. If I don't write regularly I become a mess inside my head, all these thoughts and feelings rolling around. I've got to get them out! I've kept a journal since I was 16. I've written every day for years and now I post it, people read it and they like it!

Last week I was talking with a friend who has been reading my posts for this challenge. We were discussing the subject of that particular day's post and it was a great feeling. As I told her then, we probably wouldn't have been having that conversation if I didn't blog. A lot of the things I write about wouldn't come up in a normal conversation. I put my thoughts out there and people can take them or leave them. When someone approaches me and wants to talk about what I've written, that bonds us a little bit, I think. The fact that people read my blog is extremely flattering.  I know how hectic everyone's lives are and they're taking precious minutes from their day to read what I have to say. That's amazing. I've started carrying a notebook with me everywhere I go because I love all the odd little things that happen during the course of a regular day that most people don't notice. I like to write about those things with wit and a positive attitude. It helps remind me that we're all human and deal with the same issues. Knowing that other people relate to my feelings and experiences motivates me to keep going. I don't write just for myself. That's why I show up every day. Sometimes I create something I'm proud of and sometimes I'm stuck but I'm always there with my notebook giving it a shot.

I Rescue The Unwanted

Last week I went to my local Salvation Army store on 50% off day. I came home feeling proud of the bargains I'd found and was eager to show off this lovely stack of books which I had purchased for a total of $4.13. My boyfriend and I both adore books so he darted over to look at the titles as soon as I took them out of the bag.   He pointed to the one on the bottom (Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert) and said "Oh you found a copy? Good. But I thought you already had it." I avoided his eyes as I sheepishly admitted that I did in fact buy a copy of the same book two months ago at Goodwill. "But" I explained "That was a paperback copy and this is a hardback. Plus this one was only 75 cents, and this way I can lend out a copy and I'll still have one." I'm not sure it made sense but he'd never ask me to justify buying a book that called out to me.

Committed is one of those books that felt as if it was written just for me at this time in my life. It's part memoir in regard to the author's marriages and part history of marriage and common customs. I borrowed an audio copy from the library last fall and listened to it while I drove. There were times I wanted to talk to Elizabeth Gilbert as she read. It felt like there was a friend in the car with me, telling me her story. She wrote about experiences and feelings she's had that are similar to my own. I'm glad I experienced the book in her own voice but there were many times I wished I could highlight a specific section and absorb the words from the page. I searched for a used copy for months until I finally found one.

This isn't the first book I've felt so strongly about. In fact, there's a David Sedaris paperback in the above pile that I already own on audio but it was 37 cents! I snatched it up immediately! I like being able to give or lend someone a copy of a book I think they would enjoy. After I read Lucky by Alice Sebold, I bought every used copy I came across and gave it to a woman in my life. If someone makes the effort to recommend a book to me, I usually put it on my list and read it as soon as I can get a copy. Even if I don't like it I appreciate the gesture, that someone thought of me.

When I go to yard sales I'll get on my knees next to a box of books to dig through. A person's book collection can say a lot about them. Last summer I came across a couple who, among the usual yard sale wares, were getting rid of a box full of books about shapeshifting and witchcraft. I've seen people selling their books on infertility, troubled marriages, death in the family or any number of illnesses and I think that's such a personal thing to sit out in your yard for a stranger to root through. But for the person who comes across those books and needs them, what a great find!