S is for David Sedaris

I was introduced to David Sedaris' work slowly. First, a friend gave me a copy of one of his essays to read. A year or so later, a co-worker made me a CD of Sedaris reading his work to listen to on a road trip and I thoroughly enjoyed it. One of my best friends sent me a copy of Naked in a care package when I was going through my divorce. I read it cover to cover in about a day, and that's when I truly came to appreciate David Sedaris.

I went to a used book store that same week and bought copies of the other Sedaris books they had, Me Talk Pretty One Day and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim. I read them both in quick succession and I've been an adoring fan ever since!

David Sedaris is my number one inspiration as a writer. Once I began reading his work, I tried to emulate him. My writing shifted into personal essay style and not too long afterward, I started my first blog. In his books, I found someone doing what I wanted to do and it was like I finally had permission to start telling my stories.

What I value so much about Sedaris' writing is how he takes every day occurrences and makes them significant. I love his dark, cynical humor and how he can laugh at his misfortune and still tell one hell of a story.

I have three David Sedaris shelves in my house. One on the big book shelf in our living room (pictured above.) That's where I keep my signed copies and all the books that mean the most to me. These guys do not get lent out! Then I have a second shelf on my writing desk where I keep the copies I turn to for reference and inspiration. I buy used copies of his books when I come across them, to pass on to others and I keep those in a stack in my closet.

 

 

I've been extremely fortunate to attend two of David's readings and book signings at both. The first time I met him I was speechless (which  is a rarity for me!) so the second time I was prepared! I sat in the front row, my notebook in my lap and as soon as he welcomed questions from the audience my hand shot into the air like a rocket. Afterward, I spoke to him more as he signed my books and asked him, to give me some writing advice in an inscription. He answered my questions thoughtfully and honestly. I'm sure not many writers have had an opportunity like that! It's so awesome to have a story to tell about my biggest writing inspiration saying "Ramona, you're over thinking it." I have taken that advice to heart in more ways than he probably intended and I'm much better for it!

Digging Up Dirt

As of today, I'm half way through an eight week memoir writing class that I'm taking at a local writer's collective. I've wanted to take a class from Molly for the past three years but it each time she announced  her upcoming courses, something would come up to prevent me from enrolling; work, finances, life, you know how it is...

I got the email announcing this fall's courses within days of getting my concussion. At that point I was still struggling to sit up without feeling like I was going to puke and I was panicking at the thought of life without roller derby, without that social circle. The timing of this email was perfect in that it reminded me that there was so much I loved to do besides derby, things that I needed my brain to be functioning for!

So I signed up and crossed my fingers that by the time the class started in late September, my brain would be recovered enough that I could participate without feeling like a zombie!

During the very first session, I felt like my sternum had cracked open and my heart was pouring out (in a good way!) Finally, a place where I belong, where my desire to tell my stories is appreciated. Each week, I sit at the long unfinished wood table with five other writers as we complete free writing exercises and share what we come up with. It's incredible how much I can produce in six short minutes, given a prompt such as "Write about something you wanted but didn't get." Our pens scritch and scratch on our notebooks as we frantically try to get out all the thoughts that come flooding in the gate that the prompt has opened.

The exercises we do in class have tapped into experiences I've had that I'd forgotten about and memories I've tucked away in places I haven't wanted to go to again. There are some things I've always wanted to write about but have been afraid to: worried about what people will think of me, worried about the people who play roles in my stories-what if so and so finds out? But I've come to realize that what my hero David Sedaris so eloquently told me this summer is true, "Ramona, you're over thinking it."

So I've gone there. I've started digging in the dirt. I'm working on a piece about experiences from my childhood. Many of you who know me well may have never even heard these stories. I don't talk about my experiences much but I've come to realize they're a huge part of who I am. The reasons I don't want kids, why I'm afraid of getting re-married, why I have very little faith in our legal system. All of these things have do with my baggage, my junk that I carry around. By writing down my stories and sharing them with others, I'm unloading a little bit of my junk and making room for more!

It's amazing to me what it feels like to revisit some of these old places inside myself. Yesterday I was writing about the death of my childhood dog and I started to cry! Sometimes I have to get up from my desk because the air around it becomes heavy and clouded with memories.

I've been told that depression comes from living in the past, while anxiety comes from living in the future. I've spent the majority of my life bouncing back and forth between the two, missing the here and now. This is something I work on with my life coach and by having a gratitude practice.

So why then do I want to go back to the past with my writing? I've been asking myself that question a lot since this class has started. I've learned that we all ask ourselves these questions as writers: Why am I telling this story? What's the point of this? Who is going to want to read this? I certainly don't know the answers. What I do know is that I feel compelled to tell my stories. If one solitary person reads a story and relates to it or laughs at it, then I've made a change in the world and I'm happy with that.

I might never be a famous writer or blogger (or I might!) but I know that by just following through and doing what I feel so inspired to do, I'm setting an example for others. If I can do it, you can do it! No matter what that "it"is!

I Rescue The Unwanted

Last week I went to my local Salvation Army store on 50% off day. I came home feeling proud of the bargains I'd found and was eager to show off this lovely stack of books which I had purchased for a total of $4.13. My boyfriend and I both adore books so he darted over to look at the titles as soon as I took them out of the bag.   He pointed to the one on the bottom (Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert) and said "Oh you found a copy? Good. But I thought you already had it." I avoided his eyes as I sheepishly admitted that I did in fact buy a copy of the same book two months ago at Goodwill. "But" I explained "That was a paperback copy and this is a hardback. Plus this one was only 75 cents, and this way I can lend out a copy and I'll still have one." I'm not sure it made sense but he'd never ask me to justify buying a book that called out to me.

Committed is one of those books that felt as if it was written just for me at this time in my life. It's part memoir in regard to the author's marriages and part history of marriage and common customs. I borrowed an audio copy from the library last fall and listened to it while I drove. There were times I wanted to talk to Elizabeth Gilbert as she read. It felt like there was a friend in the car with me, telling me her story. She wrote about experiences and feelings she's had that are similar to my own. I'm glad I experienced the book in her own voice but there were many times I wished I could highlight a specific section and absorb the words from the page. I searched for a used copy for months until I finally found one.

This isn't the first book I've felt so strongly about. In fact, there's a David Sedaris paperback in the above pile that I already own on audio but it was 37 cents! I snatched it up immediately! I like being able to give or lend someone a copy of a book I think they would enjoy. After I read Lucky by Alice Sebold, I bought every used copy I came across and gave it to a woman in my life. If someone makes the effort to recommend a book to me, I usually put it on my list and read it as soon as I can get a copy. Even if I don't like it I appreciate the gesture, that someone thought of me.

When I go to yard sales I'll get on my knees next to a box of books to dig through. A person's book collection can say a lot about them. Last summer I came across a couple who, among the usual yard sale wares, were getting rid of a box full of books about shapeshifting and witchcraft. I've seen people selling their books on infertility, troubled marriages, death in the family or any number of illnesses and I think that's such a personal thing to sit out in your yard for a stranger to root through. But for the person who comes across those books and needs them, what a great find!

Welcome Back, Motivation

     It's obvious that I haven't updated this blog in quite a while. I feel the need to clarify that it hasn't been for lack of wanting on my part or even lack of ideas. In fact, I think about writing a lot, every day. It's the time to do it that I've been lacking lately. Or rather, the ability to prioritize my time so that I do some writing each day. I enjoy writing a great deal but I've always felt like conditions have to be perfect in order for me to be productive. I want to feel inspired then sit down at a nice clean work space and write a great piece start to finish. This is a fantasy, I realize that, but for some reason I haven't found a way to regularly work writing in to my routine that feels good to me.

     A few days ago I went to see my favorite author, David Sedaris, give a reading. His writing is what I aspire to. I've read all his books and listened to them on audio. I get my hands on anything that he writes and watch any interview he gives. I've had the tickets for months, held to the front of my refrigerator by a bright shiny magnet. I knew he'd be signing books at the event so my favorite paperback had been on the coffee table awaiting the big day. I'd been wracking my brain trying to come up with a whopping compliment to deliver. I sprang out of bed that morning like a kid at Christmas and all day long I chuckled to myself imagining all the witty banter I would exchange with my idol. I got to the venue early and shot straight to the signing line, scoffing internally at the comments I overheard from people who clearly don't know David Sedaris as well as I do and certainly haven't read all his books as many times as I have. Finally, my turn came and there I stood there in awe, not able to complete a single sentence. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I'm rarely ever at a loss for words, yet I nodded my head like a bobble head doll and could barely manage simple responses to his attempts to chat with me. He took some markers out of a ziplock bag and did a one of a kind drawing for me: the bleeding severed arm of a snowman. I took my book back and immediately clutched it to my chest as I sputtered out a thank you. I've met my favorite musician, plus plenty of others, comedians and even an Oscar nominated actress and managed to have conversations and not appear starstruck. This, however, was the first time I met someone famous who is doing something I want to do, who is living out my secret dream. There are so many things I'd love to ask or talk about yet I couldn't think of a single one.

     After the reading, the house lights came on and there was a Q & A session. Thankfully other people had the wherewithal to ask the questions I wish I had thought of. I leaned forward in my chair, trying to soak in as much of his knowledge as possible. He talked about how one of the stories he had read us was in its 19th draft and I nodded, thinking what an important fact that is for someone who expects to write something perfect in one sitting. "I get up every day and I write", he said "That's all I've got going for me." I've gone over that evening in my head over and over, trying to take in as much as I can from the experience and it's that line that has stuck with me the most. Get up every day and write. I can do that!