S is for David Sedaris

I was introduced to David Sedaris' work slowly. First, a friend gave me a copy of one of his essays to read. A year or so later, a co-worker made me a CD of Sedaris reading his work to listen to on a road trip and I thoroughly enjoyed it. One of my best friends sent me a copy of Naked in a care package when I was going through my divorce. I read it cover to cover in about a day, and that's when I truly came to appreciate David Sedaris.

I went to a used book store that same week and bought copies of the other Sedaris books they had, Me Talk Pretty One Day and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim. I read them both in quick succession and I've been an adoring fan ever since!

David Sedaris is my number one inspiration as a writer. Once I began reading his work, I tried to emulate him. My writing shifted into personal essay style and not too long afterward, I started my first blog. In his books, I found someone doing what I wanted to do and it was like I finally had permission to start telling my stories.

What I value so much about Sedaris' writing is how he takes every day occurrences and makes them significant. I love his dark, cynical humor and how he can laugh at his misfortune and still tell one hell of a story.

I have three David Sedaris shelves in my house. One on the big book shelf in our living room (pictured above.) That's where I keep my signed copies and all the books that mean the most to me. These guys do not get lent out! Then I have a second shelf on my writing desk where I keep the copies I turn to for reference and inspiration. I buy used copies of his books when I come across them, to pass on to others and I keep those in a stack in my closet.

 

 

I've been extremely fortunate to attend two of David's readings and book signings at both. The first time I met him I was speechless (which  is a rarity for me!) so the second time I was prepared! I sat in the front row, my notebook in my lap and as soon as he welcomed questions from the audience my hand shot into the air like a rocket. Afterward, I spoke to him more as he signed my books and asked him, to give me some writing advice in an inscription. He answered my questions thoughtfully and honestly. I'm sure not many writers have had an opportunity like that! It's so awesome to have a story to tell about my biggest writing inspiration saying "Ramona, you're over thinking it." I have taken that advice to heart in more ways than he probably intended and I'm much better for it!

Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari

Modern Romance is the newest title to appear on my list. In fact, it's been less than a year since I read it, and out of the 103 books I read in 2015, this was my favorite!

I adore Aziz from Park & Rec and his stand up specials, so I was excited to hear he had a book coming out and suspected I would like it a great deal. And while this book is chock full of his personality and humor, sociologist Eric Klinenberg contributed a great deal as well. It's part humor, part social science study and the result is a one of a kind book that went straight to my heart.

This book spoke to me because it looks at love and romance in an entirely different way than anyone else has. Sure it's hilarious at times, but it's real. Aziz explains this as he tells how this concept came to be: After an unsatisfying text message exchange with a woman he was interested in, Aziz went to an open mike night and did a comedy bit about what had happened to him. He was struck by how many audience members had similar experiences and realized no one was talking about these issues publicly.  So he started on a journey to write a book about what the dating world is like right now compared to what it's been in the past, thanks to the advancements of technology that affect every part of our lives.

When Aziz did a comedy show, Eric would come out afterward and they would invite people to share their stories and answer questions. Participants gave Aziz and Eric access to their phones, text messages and dating profiles so they could better understand habits. They also interviewed people from multiple generations to get an idea of how dating has changed over the decades. It gives a look into the minds and hearts of people as they attempt to navigate the dating world and figure out what they're truly looking for. It's fascinating stuff.

I was married at 24 and divorced a few years later. Dating at 30 was much different than dating in my early 20s. That change is a big deal on its own. Add in text messaging and Match.com and I felt like I had entered a foreign culture. Which, I guess I had. 

If you're a human being with a heart, you'll like this book. If dating was ever a struggle for you, you'll relate to it. But if you've dated in the past ten years, you will connect with it on a completely different level and this book will make you laugh until you cry.

Bossypants by Tina Fey

I've read this book twice and listened to it on audio once. It's the first one I recommend when friends ask for suggestions for "a light read."When I find a copy at a thrift store or yard sale, I buy it so I can pass it on to someone who will appreciate it.

Tina Fey is one of my personal heroes because she is a normal human being. She has succeeded because she's worked hard for years. She's super talented, brilliant, hilarious, and humble.

I love Tina Fey because she reminds me a lot of myself. And because she reminds women that we can do whatever we want. I love how together, she and Amy Poehler show the world what a female friendship should look like and how women should support each other. They are stunning examples for girls and young women.

I love this book not only because it's funny but because it's honest. Tina Fey doesn't apologize for who she is or where she came from. She admits her mistakes, and points out flaws in the system.Her writing and story telling are spot on.

If you haven't read it, you should! If you have read it,  try it in a different format. I promise it never gets old!

H is for Humor

I love to laugh. Especially that rolling, uncontrollable laughter that you can't stop even if you try. I like when I laugh at something without even having the thought that's it's funny first. I like to laugh until my abs are sore, until my eyes are watering. I love being around people who can make me laugh a lot. My closest friends are those with whom I share my juvenile sense of humor. 

When it comes to movies, I prefer comedies over other genres. If I'm going to spend 2+ hours of my life watching a film, I want to be entertained. I don't want to be scared or sad or have to think too much. I like other movies at times, but a good, silly comedy is best-think Austin Powers or classic Will Ferrell and Adam Sandler. The goofier, the better!

I have learned that finding humor in difficult situations helps make them bearable. This is part of what inspires me to be a non-fiction writer. I believe that if I tell my story of getting fired, or divorced, or concussed, in a humorous light, I can bring a bit of hope to someone else in a similar spot who may not have seen the humor yet. 

My favorite writer, David Sedaris, is the champion of this. He can tell a story from his less than idyllic childhood, or an awkward social interaction that makes the reader cringe and laugh at the same time. This is what I aspire to as a writer!

I'll admit it's not always possible to laugh at our hardships as we face them. Sometimes it takes weeks/months/years to be able to look back on something and say "Okay, that was funny." But I believe it's important that we're able to do it eventually, to laugh at our blunders and failed attempts. Even if it doesn't deter my next blunder, it reminds me to think Hey, at least this will make for a funny story later!

Look Around

On a recent afternoon, I was waiting in line at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription, standing behind the canvas rope at the placard on the floor that tells you where to wait to ensure the privacy of other customers ahead of you. I always want to stand directly on those footprints but I never do. In front of me at the counter, being helped by a pharmacy technician, were two Asian men, one in his 30’s and the other maybe a decade older. They wore colorful dress shirts with khaki shorts and carried messenger bags. In this small town, which houses the only airport in the area and is one of the last stops for provisions before Yellowstone National Park,  these gentlemen were obviously tourists.

As the cashier was tallying up their purchases, the younger man called out “Wait, wait!” as the older guy darted away from the register to grab two rather large boxes of condoms. Interesting choice while on vacation, I thought to myself. As the male cashier took the boxes he asked “Two more, huh?”. When he slid them into the partially translucent white paper bag, I could see it already held three such boxes of Trojans. The younger man appeared to be the only one of the two who was speaking English. He listened to his companion briefly and then before the second box was tucked away, he asked “Are these all one size?” The cashier turned the box every which way, closely examining the small print on each side and declared that they were in fact all the same size. That seemed to be acceptable to the older guy.

Once the purchase was complete, the cashier asked the men if they were headed to the larger town a few miles away and if they were driving. They said yes, but they were with a tour group so they had no need for the coupon for gasoline that came with their receipt.

I watched the entire interaction from my spot at the line marker, obviously that distance is not quite enough to provide the privacy it is intending, and I tried to imagine all the possible scenarios for which these two gentlemen from out of town would need approximately 120 condoms. Are they hoping to get extremely lucky on this vacation? Maybe they’re lovers on a rare getaway together? Maybe they don’t have easy access to prophylactics in their country of origin? Or perhaps they are leaders of the tour group simply thinking ahead and trying to provide their fellow group members with protection?

When it was finally my turn to approach the counter for my medication, I gave the cashier a smile but he was as expressionless as a brick wall. Then I realized I shouldn’t have been surprised by his stoicism. I would guess that selling large quantities of condoms to tourists is far from the strangest task his job requires of him. This got me to thinking about my role as a veterinary technician. I’ve always been proud of my ability to remain calm and professional when dealing with emergencies and oddities. I once had a client casually tell me that she examines her own stools each day. I’ve had owners confess to me that their ill pet has recently ingested pot or used condoms or thong underwear, and I’m always able to maintain a straight yet friendly face while I assure them that we will be able to treat their beloved pet properly. Years ago in an exam room, I asked a female client why she had brought her beagle in to be seen and she stated matter of factly “She has a filthy pussy.” I didn’t even pause before I replied, “Alrighty then, let’s see what we can do about that.” It was clear to me that these were simply the only words she had to describe her observations.

Working with the public can be challenging at times. Clients often expect their current problem to take priority over the other things I’m dealing with and that’s not always appropriate. I often have to do a lot of assessing in a short amount of time in order to respond properly. But my work can be incredibly rewarding. There’s no feeling that compares to helping save a family’s pet or providing a grieving owner with solace during euthanasia. My job can be fun, difficult, dirty, heartbreaking and it challenges me physically and emotionally; usually all in the same day. When I took a brief break from working in the veterinary field, I realized there is literally nothing else I would rather do as a job.

I don’t know how that pharmacy clerk feels about his job but I’m guessing there are rewarding parts to helping provide people with their medications as well as frustrating parts. I’ve found that to be true of all the jobs I’ve ever had. Those tourists were fortunate to have someone help them who took the task seriously, even as I observed in disbelief. I guess this all just proves my personal philosophy that everyone is good at something, has a purpose, and we’re all in a certain place at a certain time for a specific reason. What was probably a simple interaction to all parties involved was incredibly interesting to me and gave me a lot to think about.

This is why I enjoy writing non-fiction and why I carry a notebook everywhere I go. There’s always amazing things happening around us, sometimes funny things or examples of kindness or just something spectacular; a week later I pulled up to the same grocery store and saw a man getting arrested for fighting in the parking lot!

It’s a reminder to keep my eyes open all the time, to focus on the moment I’m in, instead of worrying about what I’m doing next.