E is for Expectations

Rainbow after a hail storm June 2011

Though we're only four months into 2015, if I had to choose one lesson I've learned this year it would be this: Expectations are bullshit.

I'm a planner. I want to know what's going to happen and when. I want to think things through so I can be prepared for potential outcomes. I'm so focused on what I think is going to happen that I don't see what comes out of left field until it's too late. I don't know how to stop having any expectations at all. My brain seems to do it automatically. I've worked hard over the past few years to change these patterns in my life. I've realized that expectation sets me up for disappointment and often prevents me from missing out on the excitement of anticipation and the joy of the moment. What I try to do now is recognize that I have expectations but not hold on to them quite so tightly.

When I left for my adventure in January, I said I didn't have any expectations but I was lying, although not consciously. I had a lot of thoughts about what I thought would happen and what should happen. Some of those thoughts were accurate but many of them were not. I certainly didn't expect that I'd be home two months later but that's where I ended up and I'm grateful for that.

I think it's impossible to not have expectations; of ourselves, of others, of an event we're planning to attend. So how does one let go of them? I don't have an answer for that so I'd love to hear how other people face this struggle!

Lessons I've Learned So Far (26 to be exact)

Last year for the April A to Z Blogging Challenge I wrote about my favorite songs, ones that have been significant in my life. I spent six months working on those posts and was proud of what I produced. I received positive feedback from friends and readers who related to my feelings about music, and that was my goal!

Life distracted me from thinking much about this year's challenge until recently. I wanted to do a theme again  because I enjoyed writing last year's posts so much and a theme helps me come up with topic ideas. I wanted to do something along the lines of writing about my favorite things, or what brings me joy but I basically did that the first time I did this challenge, in 2013 (books, candy, Dave Matthews Band, elephants - yep, that pretty much covers it!) I have a friend who also does this challenge each year and she is going with the theme of her favorite things so check out her blog if you get time!

 I brainstormed on variations on that theme and finally stumbled upon the idea I'm going with this year. The past few months of my life have been a whirlwind of change and emotions. Through it all, I learned A LOT about myself and the people closest to me, and about my life in general. I traveled to places I'd never been and had a lot of fun new experiences but also a lot of heartache. I did some serious soul searching and returned home a changed woman, with a sense of clarity about my life that I couldn't have achieved any other way.

I know my recent adventures will eventually give way to a series of colorful, witty essays but now is not the time for that.

As I've reflected on my recent experiences, and my life in general,  I've decided to share what I believe are the most valuable lessons I've learned so far in my journey. Each lesson has it's own story (or stories) and while they may not all apply to everyone, I believe they are worth sharing and worth reading! So please stay tuned for the month of April, as I share what I've learned!