This Is Only A Test

Like the majority of the country, we've had our fair share of harsh weather here in Montana this winter. In fact, this week we had another spell of sub-zero temperatures more extreme than the last time, but fortunately they didn't stick around as long. Wednesday night brought us our lowest temperatures yet this season at -32 (and that was without the windchill factor!). My car wouldn't start for two days and neither of our vehicles would start Thursday morning. I'll admit I'm a home body but there's a certain point where not being able to leave the house starts to drive me a little batty! I was finally able to get out and run some errands Friday afternoon and I was thrilled! But with the cold, the wind and snowy road conditions, I was happy to get back home after a couple hours! Once the sun goes down, the temperatures drop quickly and by 7pm it was -15 and I was on my couch wrapped in my Snuggie with a glass of whiskey watching The Walking Dead.

The cold gray days, coupled with my inability to leave the house had me in a funk most of the week. I felt low and irritable. I skipped roller derby practice and started an argument with my boyfriend over the laundry. All of that is out of character for me. I was generally grumpy and I wallowed in it. Then, I started noticing all the FaceBook posts from my friends in the North East who were without power due to the ice storm. I also had a couple friends in Montana who had to deal with a broken furnace during our cold spell. For as much as people complain about FaceBook, it can really serve a purpose at times. It was kinda the slap in the face that I needed to see straight again. Even when I'm out of sorts, there's so much to be grateful for.

Thankfully the temperatures have gone up over the weekend, and with that came a whole lot of snow. I'm sure glad shoveling is good exercise! Today was finally sunny and clear with a crisp temperature of 18 degrees above zero. That was cause for celebration! This afternoon was beautiful and I was finally able to get outside with the dogs. We got about 8-10 inches of light fluffy snow this weekend, on top of what was already out there. I shuffled around the back yard, knee deep in the white stuff, while my boyfriend put in some time on his cross country skis.

This was the first time my puppy has experienced this much snow. It was pretty fun to watch! He took one pounce into snow that was higher than his shoulders and he seemed to realize that wasn't much fun. I shoveled him some paths and he stuck to them, happily biting at the snow and barking at the other dog who is big enough to handle the deeper parts of the yard. A couple months ago, I thought it was a bad idea to have gotten a puppy right before winter. It has definitely made housebreaking challenging when it's well below zero. But over the last couple weeks, I've realized it was probably better this way. He's been growing up during a harsh winter and it's made him tougher than I expected. He doesn't know any different so he asks to go out even in the worst conditions. My older dog however, he seems to know that winter doesn't last forever and he's quite content to wait it out on the couch!

Tinsley's first big snow

Our backyard fire pit & benches

People often ask me how I can live in a place with such extreme winter conditions. It definitely took some getting used to. I've lived in other parts of the country, places where two inches of snow shut down a city for a day. There's no such thing as a snow day here. Ever. It's not always easy but it keeps me balanced. When I start getting tired of winter, I remind myself how eager we always are for it to arrive, particularly at the end of an especially bad fire season. The Gallatin Valley is spectacular, even when it's dangerously cold outside. When I'm stuck inside I try to make the most of it by reading, writing, baking or binge watching shows on NetFlix! 

It's easy for me slip into that pattern of thinking "Oh, things will be better when ____________" or "I'll feel better once I __________". I get crabby and blame the weather or my car or any number of external factors, but really this is just The Universe testing me. When I'm forced to stay at home and really sit with myself, when I do a lot of writing and thinking, I can see that the only one who has the power to change things for me is me. It's a tough thing to admit. I basically had to look at myself in the mirror and say "Stop being a sad bitch. It doesn't serve you." Then I took a long hot shower, with some Dave Matthews Band blaring in the bathroom and I felt better. I'm trying to not be hard on myself. So I had a couple rough days, big deal. I've recovered from having a couple rough years before so this is nothing! This is where having a gratitude practice has become so important to me. I have a supportive partner, friends who let me vent and make me laugh, dogs who keep me company, books to read, people who read what I write, teammates who challenge me to grow. That's a lot of cool stuff. So what if my car won't start?!

Cabin Fever

After several weeks battling various degrees of sickness, I finally started to feel like myself again over the weekend. I was a bit antsy by Monday, after about ten days of barely leaving the house, so I treated myself to a trip to the grocery store. I wasn't even going for cough drops or Kleenex this time! It was a dreary day, with a mix of snow and rain falling throughout the morning. Luckily I returned home just before the temperature started dropping and the precipitation turned to snow for good. Then the temperatures dropped some more. On Tuesday, I stayed home, peering out the windows feeling as if I were stuck in a snow globe. Then the temperatures dropped even more. Here's a screen shot of my phone from 7:30 this morning:

With the windchill it was -30! Temperatures this low certainly aren't uncommon in this part of Montana. We almost always see a few days each year than dip below zero but this is a bit earlier in the winter than usual and it's sticking around longer too. I read in the paper that we could be getting the lowest temperatures over a ten day period in over 40 years. Even though we might experience these temperatures every year or so, it still feels absolutely brutal. You can't be outside for long with exposed skin, it can take half an hour to get your car cleaned off and warmed up, and everything is much slower like gas pumps and commutes. I know what you're thinking: Yes, it's Montana and yes people choose to live here. For the most part life goes on regularly no matter how cold it is or how much snow we get. We have plenty of inventions that make life safer and easier under these conditions like down coats, balaclavas and block heaters for our car engines. But no matter how warm I'm dressed or how prepared I try to be for winter, it always makes me throw up my hands and say "Okay Mother Nature, I get it. You're in charge." 

So even though I'm feeling better and ready to return to the world and run errands, I've stayed inside with my dogs all week as I wait out the cold snap. I've been writing, getting housework done and  watching 30Rock on NetFlix, but I'll admit I'm starting to get bored. Now that my bronchitis is gone and I can finally exercise it's too cold to run, even on the treadmill in the garage. I'm getting my cardio from playing dancing games with the XBox Kinect, which is fine but it doesn't give my dogs much chance for exercise (they just aren't very good dance partners). Instead of letting the pooches into the back yard and taking advantage of a petless kitchen to sweep the floor, I stay at the door  so I can let them in as soon as they're finished. My poor Boston Terrier puppy can barely stay out there long enough to pee on a snowy corner of the patio before darting back in. Needless to say, our housebreaking has taken a couple steps backward recently. Even my Saint Bernard mix, who likes to leisurely inspect his territory and is typically stoic when it comes to weather conditions, does his business close to the house and trots directly back to the door. 

Having five pets who enjoy the outdoors be stuck inside for days on end certainly creates some entertainment. I actually think it has forced some major steps when it comes to everyone getting along. 

Thankfully the puppy has only gotten into trouble in ways that are cute, funny and not harmful to himself. I'm constantly amazed at how quickly he can go from a dead sleep to wreaking havoc. He's keeping me on my toes, that's for sure!

Today was the first day of sunshine all week, so this afternoon when it "warmed up" to zero degrees, I started my car for the first time since Monday. It didn't start on the first try but it started. My driver's side door was frozen shut and I almost landed on my butt when it finally opened, but I was just thankful the handle didn't break off in my hand. As I drove to check the mail (the bank of mail boxes is a half mile from my house), I thought of a George Carlin quote a friend of mine in Florida often says to me when I talk about Montana winters. I'm paraphrasing here but it goes something like "I'll never live in a place where I might die of exposure going to the mailbox." That usually makes me roll my eyes but today it would be a valid concern! One of the reasons people choose to live in Montana is for all the outdoor recreation opportunities. I love to ski and snowshoe but not when it's below zero! What makes it worthwhile for me is that even though I couldn't stay outside for very long today, this is the view from my driveway:

I might have a case of cabin fever but at least I know I won't die from it!

W is for Winter

Winter is not my favorite season. It might make you wonder then, why I choose to live in a place where it typically snows during at least nine months out of the year. Trust me, there are definitely some days when I wonder the same thing myself. Like when I'm shoveling a foot of snow in the dark at 6am or when it's 40 degrees below zero and going outdoors is unsafe due to risk of frost bite. But ask me on a day I'm skiing, with the sun shining in a blue sky or snowshoeing in the mountains to cut down my own Christmas tree and I'll tell you winter isn't so bad after all. Living here does take some getting used to, I'll give you that. The first winter I lived here, after moving from North Carolina, I spent most of the time inside. That makes for a loooong winter. By the following year, I knew I needed to learn how to enjoy the snowy season or I wouldn't be able to last long here. So I took skiing lessons and bought some used gear. Now I own both downhill and cross country skis and snow shoes plus lots of hats, gloves, mittens, long underwear, etc. My car has an engine block heater, which I have to plug in with an extension cord on cold nights so that it starts the next morning. My dogs wear coats and boots. I even have a "Happy Light" to get me through the long months of short days and minimal sunlight. It's not for everyone. I've found that the people who do live here are generally pretty happy and fit because they choose to stay here because they enjoy it. People who can't tolerate it tend to move away.


 I've lived in Montana for six years now and I'm still constantly amazed at the amazing experiences I have and the beautiful scenery I see on a daily basis. Yes, I've had to wear snow boots with fish net stockings to go to a roller derby event and it was cold but it was also kinda awesome. I think it does take a special kind of person to thrive here and I feel so lucky to know so many of them and to be making this my home.

Just The Sheets

           One of my coworkers has recently moved here from the south. Talking with her has me remembering what it was like to make that transition, as I moved here from North Carolina five years ago. One of the things that took some getting used to was how much “stuff” you need. If you want to be active and do fun stuff outdoors, you need a lot of gear. I think it's especially true for women because nine months of cold weather is a long time to be stuck wearing just a single coat and hat! When this winter began to set in, I gave her a couple of my older coats and a pair of like new hiking shoes that hurt my toes. My new friend has been very appreciative of my hand me downs. I’ve gotten a lot of joy out of sharing now only my things but my experiences.

            Over the weekend I went into my storage closet to dig out some sheets to give her for her new guest bed. I had a full bed when I lived alone but got rid of it when I moved in with my boyfriend and we now only have queen mattresses. I’ve boxed up a lot of my things left over from my single days that I don’t have use for but haven’t wanted  to get rid of. Initially I was glad that I could pass on my nice comforter set but as I pulled it from its box, I remembered how much I like it and a dreadful thought came to me: What if Reggie and I split up and I have to live by myself again? I was flooded with the memories of living on my own after my divorce and how proud I was of myself as I bought myself new things and made a life on my own. I was overwhelmed by a sense of panic: I don’t want to go through all that again!, I don’t want to get rid of my things! I love my things! Panic!

            “I can’t decide what to do about my sheets”, I said to Reggie sheepishly as we folded laundry together later in the evening.  He looked puzzled. What didn’t I know? Either I give them away or I don't, right?  So I explained myself: I have X number of sheet sets, dust ruffles and comforters. We have no use for them right now and I want to help my friend by giving them to her “But what if I have to live along again someday?” I sniffled, “I’ll want to have my things.”

            No amount of comforting from my boyfriend could ever convince me that I’ll never be single again. No one knows for sure what’s going to happen. I understand that and I honestly think I’m okay with it, as much as one really can be with the ever looming sense of the unknown.

            It’s just amazing to me how much emotion can be entwined with the objects we hold dear. Sure it’s a bedding set that can be easily replaced. But what it represents to me is so much more. So much history and it makes me feel better  to know it’s tucked away. 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Merge

 

 

 

      Winter in Montana can be beautiful and enjoyable but it can also feel overbearing and endless at times. This photo is a perfect combination of all of the above. Sometimes on a frigid snowy day it can be hard to tell where the earth ends and the sky begins.