Notes On A Concert

Note: This was taken before the concert started

I went to see Phillip Phillip in concert last night and I learned a few things:

1. Apparently I have a thing for white guys with acoustic guitars (but I think I already knew that)

2. My post concussion brain does not like strobe lights

3. Technology is a double edged sword.

Without reality TV and "vote via text message", I wouldn't know who Phillip Phillips is, but the level to which people are distracted by technology in their daily lives is disconcerting. The crowd was full of lit phone screens. The concert was going full blast and all around me, people were taking selfies, recording videos and even Facebooking! When the woman seated behind me wanted me to sit down because she was recording the song I was dancing to, I considered screaming into her lens "BE HERE NOW!" How dare she interrupt my joyful experience? I took one giant step to the right and kept dancing. I thought How can all these people be here in this amazing moment and be focused elsewhere? and then I realized that I was focusing elsewhere by thinking about all these other people! It sure is distracting, all the camera flashes and glowing screens. While I was dancing, singing and clapping, there were four people standing in front of me, holding their phones perfectly still with both hands, not making a sound. What I want to know is when in the world are they ever going to watch that video? Oh well, when they do, they'll hear my loud, out of pitch voice singing along to every song!

4. Those of us who go to a concert because we are familiar with the artist and truly appreciate his music  are few and far between.

There was a white haired grandma type lady behind me as we exited the arena. She was complaining because she only knew two of the songs Phillip played and "he just had to wait til the very end" to play his most popular song, Home. I should have responded to her: Well, that's what an encore is. Also, you know why I  knew every song? Because I bought his albums and I listen to them regularly because I genuinely enjoy his music! What a concept! I wonder why that woman was there? Maybe as a gift to a granddaughter she loves?

I've certainly been to concerts where I didn't know any of the artist's original songs but I've never complained about it. That's part of loving music and that's some of the point of an opening act, to expose you to music you've never heard before. I've discovered a lot of great artists that way.

5. I do not belong seated in the stands. I belong in that crazy, screaming, pulsing mass of humanity in front of the stage.

When I bought my ticket to this concert, months ago,  I was still suffering from some significant concussion symptoms. I wasn't even sure I'd be able to go and I figured if I did, I probably shouldn't be close to the speakers and would need to be able to sit down, so I bought seat tickets instead of general admission. I only stood up to dance for four songs, which practically broke my concert loving heart!

Music is one of the things I'm most passionate about, and going to see live music is one of my favorite things in the entire world. I've never made a list (although now I'm going to!) but I'm sure that I've easily been to over 100 concerts in my life. It's food for my soul. A Dave Matthews Band concert is my personal equivalent of going to church. I understand that's not common and I certainly don't expect all the other concert attendees to have the same enthusiasm for the experience that I do. I guess I just don't understand the concept of spending so much money on a concert ticket if you aren't fully committed to the experience. The same goes for people who get so drunk or high that they have no idea what song is playing. I've never understood that either.

I don't want to impose on anyone else's experience with my singing and dancing but I think I have a right to be doing it. I've paid good money for my own little space in that venue and I should be able to use it to enjoy the music however I see fit, as long as I'm not hurting anyone else. If I annoy you, well... I'm sorry but I'm not really sorry.

A to Z Afterthoughts/Honorable Mentions

The list I worked from for this project

I fully intended to have this post up on May 1st but I didn't get it done in time and to be honest, I've enjoyed having a few days without any blogging obligations. I spent almost six months working on these posts, off and on, so it feels strange to not have to do any more! Over all, I'm pleased with how they turned out. I got a lot of feedback, mostly from people I already know, and I can tell my friends enjoyed reading about my favorite songs and learning some of the stories behind who I am. I'm disappointed I didn't get more comments from new readers, through the A to Z Challenge. I was hoping my personal stories would resonate with more people and initiate discussion.

For almost every song I wrote about, I Tweeted my blog link to the artist. I was hoping at least a couple would read their posts. My theory behind that is that if someone were moved enough by something I wrote to blog about it, I would love to know that. The only response I got was that Liz Phair favorited my post about her song, but that's pretty awesome!

If you know me well, you know how connected I feel to Dave Matthews Band so you may have noticed that only one of their songs made my list. A friend asked me if I made a conscious decision not to include many of their songs and the answer is yes. When I initially made my A to Z list, I went through the alphabet and jotted down songs that came to mind for each letter. When I was finished, some letters had one or two songs and some had five or six, but each letter had at least one song by Dave Matthews Band or Better Than Ezra! They are my two favorite bands and I feel a strong connection to them both. I decided not to include many songs by either band mostly because there is a lot of music that came before them in my life, that shaped who I am and led me to their music. Also because people who know me already know how I feel about those bands and I wanted to add some variety and share stories about me that others probably didn't know.

Because it was difficult to narrow my list to just 27 songs, I feel the need to recognize some of the ones that almost made the list. There are some songs that deserve mentioning just because they are plain awesome. The opening cords to Sweet Child O'Mine get me fired up every time. The same goes with Pour Some Sugar On Me, it will rock forever.  So What by Pink got me through a tough break up by reminding me of how awesome I am. 32 Flavors by Alana Davis is runner up for Theme Song for my life  (yes, I know it's a Ani DiFranco cover but I like it better!).  During my pre-teen years I would sing You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling into curling irons with my friend Loni, who is now a professional musician. I could go on and on...My point is there is an endless supply of amazing music in the world and I hope I was able to introduce you to some new songs and make you smile in the process!

Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band

Even if you don't know any other song by Dave Matthews Band, you probably know this one. My friends who are hard core DMB fans are always giving me crap because I like this song so much. It's the one song that everybody at the concert stands up for, even if they sit down for the rest of the show, and all the women squeal for it (myself included). It's on my favorite DMB album, titled Crash. There are many reasons I love this album but the biggest one is the first time I ever saw the band live was in 1996 when they were touring for this album. I had liked the band before I went to that concert but seeing them perform live took it to a whole new level!

                                                                           

I could probably listen to this song on repeat indefinitely and never get tired of it. It has a beautiful sound, even without considering the lyrics, and when you add them in it's a sexy song, plain and simple. I have about a dozen different versions of it in my iTunes library. I can't get enough of it!

It's also my favorite DMB video. I think it's a perfect match of images for the sound and lyrics:"You wear nothing but you wear it so well", "I'm bare boned and crazy for you", and of course the classic Dave lyric "Hike up your skirt a little more, and show the world to me".  I honestly don't understand how anyone can not like this song. I think it's a perfect blend of everything wonderful that could go into a piece of music!

Crash Into Me never fails to take me to my happy place. It always slows me down, resets my nervous system and reminds me that all is well in the world, life is awesome and everything is going to be just fine. (Most DMB songs do that for me actually!) 

My Trifecta

I'd like to preface this post by saying I'm aware I may not be using the word trifecta properly here. In the midst of my writing, it occurred to me that I'd better check on the word's actual definition so I had to do a little research. I came up with mixed results; some sources say it's strictly a betting term but others say it's appropriate for a winning trio, which is what I feel this post is about, so I decided to stick with it!

A couple of years ago I was going through a particularly rough patch at my job at the time. I felt out of place and unwanted, as if I had to suppress my true self when I was there. I dreaded going into the office each morning, sometimes I cried on my way there. I usually listen to music when I'm driving and in a situation like this, I'll often choose Dave Matthews Band songs to cheer me up. Their music always reminds me of happier moments and that whatever I'm dealing with isn't permanent. After a while I realized that I had three particular songs I'd listen to on my drive to work each morning, always in the same order: Two Step, #41 and Lie in Our Graves. I started to think back to other trying times in my life, and noticed that these songs have always been part of my go to play list when I need to feel better or psyche myself up. Music has always been therapeutic for me. A specific song played at just the right moment can influence me in a huge way. I have many custom made play lists in my iTunes library: songs for when I'm sad and want to cheer up, songs for when I'm sad and need to wallow in it, songs for when I'm happy, excited or pissed off. There's music for running, cleaning, driving, relaxing. You name the scenario and I can probably give you a list of at least ten songs that would be fitting! All of those playlists contain at least one song by Dave Matthews Band, some contain several. The music of DMB has been a huge portion of the soundtrack to my life. Any time I'm in public, especially if I'm nervous about the situation at hand, and I hear a DMB song come on, I take it as a sign that everything is going to be okay!

It was around that time that I started referring to those songs as "My Trifecta". They're three of my favorite songs by the band, off of my favorite album. They contain some of my favorite of Dave's lyrics as well. From Two Step "Celebrate we will, because life is short but sweet for certain", from Lie In Our Graves "Would you not like to be, sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free?" and "I can't believe that we would lie in our graves, wondering if we had spent our living days well". They're also some of my favorite songs to see the band perform live. All DMB remind me of the concerts I've been to and how joyful those experiences are. They're also each tied to certain people from my life; an ex-boyfriend, a former roommate, a friend from college who I'm still close to. These three songs together encourage me and calm me at the same time. I've made a tiny playlist that only contains these songs and sometimes I listen to it on repeat, over and over.

When it came time to choose my number for roller derby, it was a no brainer: I'm #41. Not many people get it, and I don't mind. It's just another way that I've been able to root myself to the music and people who have been so present in my life.

I got the idea for this post because I've been working on writing about the songs that have influenced me post in my life, for an A to Z blogging challenge this spring. Most of the songs on my list are ones I consider favorites but some of them are ones I don't listen to very often but were significant to me at a particular phase of my life. Music has been a comfort, a cheerleader, a constant companion to me over the years. I don't know who I'd be without it, without these songs I cherish so much. My mother and father are both passionate about music as well so I'm grateful to them for passing it on to me!  

August

I like August. A lot of people moan about it being the end of summer, but I think of it as a different phase of summer. As a kid, I always looked forward to August because it's my birthday month. School didn't start until after my birthday, which is late in the month, so when August rolled around I knew I still had time for fun before the dreaded school shopping started!

Even though we're still seeing temperatures in the high 80's, the heat just isn't as intense as it was a few weeks ago. Already there's a different slant to the sunlight. It's not too hot to go for a run at 9am. After the sun goes down, it's cool enough to wear jeans. It's still summer but it's a bit more enjoyable than the sticky days and hot nights of July.

Here in Montana, this is fire season. Thank goodness it's not nearly as bad as last year, but there's still a smokey haze that prevents the mountains from being seen clearly and burns my lungs if I run outside.

August is also the birthday month of my sweet dog Ritz, who I lost at the end of May. He would have been eight this year. I've been thinking of having a memorial service on his birthday. His death was so unexpected that it didn't occur to me to have one at the time. His absence around the house is still so large.

Earlier this week I posted a FaceBook status that said "I have decided that this summer shall be known as The Summer of Sadness and when it's over we will never speak of it again." This summer has been tough for a number of reasons. You know how it is, once one thing goes wrong it seems like everything goes wrong. I was touched by the responses from my friends.  Some days it feels like I'm the only one in the world who has ever been this sad. My favorite comment was "Every one must have a summer of sadness as a barometer for better days. I am sorry this is your summer." My friends understand and that's a great comfort to me.

Deep down inside, I know that I will recover and things will pan out for me.  Sometimes it's easier to see that than others. I have a big trip planned for later this month. To celebrate my 35th birthday, my other half and I are going to Colorado to see my favorite band in the world (Dave Matthews Band) for two nights in a row. It's at the end of the month, the end of the summer, the end of my roller derby season. To say I'm looking forward to it is an understatement. Even though I normally don't celebrate the end of summer, I think this year I'll welcome it as another step forward.

D is for Dave Matthews Band

I know I've written about this subject before, but there really isn't a better D topic for me! I have a hard time finding the right words to describe how I feel about Dave Matthews Band. I think it's just one of those things there aren't really words for.

Some of today's post is copied & pasted from a blog I posted in May of 2012 when doing a "First Loves Challenge".

 Anyone who knows me at all can tell you I’m a pretty big fan of Mr. Matthews and his band. Actually I don’t usually like referring to myself as a fan because it reminds me of people who say they’re a huge fan of cheeseburgers or chick flicks and it’s just not the same. The best comparison I’ve come up with is to say that Dave Matthews Band’s music is like religion to me. That may seem blasphemous but I don’t mean it that way at all. These men and their music have been in my life for 17 years, which is exactly half the time I've been alive, and they have provided me with a soundtrack through some of the most wonderful and terrible times of my life. They've been a constant in my life during many years when everything else was changing. I’ve seen them in concert 24 times. The most fun I ever had at one of those concerts was when I went by myself and was in the 2^nd row. I’ve met them once and have their FireDancer logo tattooed on by back. Many amazing people have come into my life through a mutual love of DMB’s music and I'm grateful for that.

Me with Dave Matthews and Boyd Tinsley in May 1998

Weekly Photo Challenge: Free Spirit

This is one of my favorite photos of myself. It was taken a few years ago at the Columbia River in Washington state, when I took a trip to see Dave Matthews Band at The Gorge. It's fitting for this challenge because it represents to me a time when I did something sheerly for my own enjoyment. At the moment this photo was taken, I was feeling pure joy, far free from my day to day life & obligations.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Fleeting Moment

                                        

             Two summers ago, I traveled with my boyfriend and two good friends to see Dave Matthews Band in Idaho. It was the first time any of them had seen the band with me. The whole trip was a pretty trying experience for us but once we got into the venue all the hassles went away. This was the first time I'd ever seen the band in a general admission setting and the closest I'd ever been to the stage. My friend Jake took this photo as he stood behind me and that's my arm in the air. I love this photo because every time I look at it, it brings back the sheer joy I was feeling at that moment.

Blogfest Challenge: First Loves

            Today's Blogfest challenge of First Loves comes from Alex Cavanaugh: First movie, band, book and person. This took more thought than I originally expected! It was fairly easy to choose each thing but finding the right words to explain why they are so special was certainly a challenge at times.

            “The Crow” was the first movie that ever blew my mind. It haunted me for days. I was in high school and it was the first time a movie had ever affected me in that way. It was a bit unnerving. I watched it again and to my amazement it was just as spectacular as it was the first time.  I bought the soundtrack then the musical score and I listened to them over and over and over.  There was just something about the images combined with the music and the concepts of true love and revenge that spoke to my emotional teenage self and has always stayed with me. 

            When I first heard of Dave Matthews Band, it was 1995 and Jerry Garcia had recently died. When someone at school said they’re going to be the next Grateful Dead, I said “Pfffft….whatever”. The first time I heard a DMB song was that summer when “What Would You Say” was their first radio hit and I thought “That’s okay but what’s the big deal?”. Then I saw them on Saturday Night Live and it was love at first sight. I clearly remember Dave wearing bright plaid pants and dancing like a maniac. There was an enormous violin player and the song “Ants Marching” was unlike anything I’d ever heard. I was smitten. I saw them in concert for the first time about six months later and I knew that I’d never before or again love any music like this. Anyone who knows me at all can tell you I’m a pretty big fan of Mr. Matthews and his band. Actually I don’t usually like referring to myself as a fan because it reminds me of people who say they’re a huge fan of cheeseburgers or chick flicks and it’s just not the same. The best comparison I’ve come up with is to say that Dave Matthews Band’s music is like religion to me. That may seem blasphemous but I don’t mean it that way at all. These men and their music have been in my life since I was 16 years old and have provided me with a soundtrack through some of the most wonderful and terrible times of my life. I’ve seen them in concert 24 times. The most fun I ever had at one of those concerts was when I went by myself and was in the 2^nd row. I’ve met them once and have their FireDancer logo tattooed on by back. Many amazing people have come into my life through a mutual love of DMB’s music and I'm grateful for that.

I’ve loved books as long as I can remember. My mom tells me that before I could read I would carry my books around and pretend I was reading by making up stories to go with the pictures.  I remember very clearly walking home from the store near our home with my mom around age five, holding this book and running my hands across the pages.  The images of these kittens painting have been burnt into my mind.

And now, here I am an adult who loves books and cats and has a special affinity for animals in clothes. It makes me wonder what came first: Was I drawn to this book at age five for those reasons or did the book start those interests for me?

            When it comes to romantic love, I met my first on the school bus when I was 12. It was a typical adolescent romance for a while. We hung around each other awkwardly, then we “went out” even though neither of us could take the other anywhere, then we broke up, hated each other, became friends again and then went our separate ways after high school and I’d hear from him every once in a while. Ultimately, our story spans eighteen years and includes me marrying someone else, then getting divorced, him having two children by two different women and then spending some time in federal prison. We reunited through FaceBook after three years of being out of touch and were now on different sides of the country. There were confessions of love, apologizes, a visit and a marriage proposal. As I was preparing to move east to start my new life, I got dumped. Hard. It turns out that during this time he actually got another woman pregnant and they’ve since had twin daughters. He called me during that time because he needed someone to talk to because he was “going through some really tough stuff”. I told him to go to hell and I haven’t heard from him since. So this story isn’t exactly a happy one. BUT in the end A) It’s a good story and B) I learned so much about myself and what I was willing to put up with to feel loved. I grew so much after this last experience that I was able to be on my own and in turn be ready for the man I’m with now who may not be my first romantic love but hopefully will be my last.

            It’s funny when you start to think about things like this; the first things you fell for that made you who you are today. I’m happy to be able to share these little stories and maybe even turn someone on to something new (except the dirt bag ex-boyfriend!).