August

I like August. A lot of people moan about it being the end of summer, but I think of it as a different phase of summer. As a kid, I always looked forward to August because it's my birthday month. School didn't start until after my birthday, which is late in the month, so when August rolled around I knew I still had time for fun before the dreaded school shopping started!

Even though we're still seeing temperatures in the high 80's, the heat just isn't as intense as it was a few weeks ago. Already there's a different slant to the sunlight. It's not too hot to go for a run at 9am. After the sun goes down, it's cool enough to wear jeans. It's still summer but it's a bit more enjoyable than the sticky days and hot nights of July.

Here in Montana, this is fire season. Thank goodness it's not nearly as bad as last year, but there's still a smokey haze that prevents the mountains from being seen clearly and burns my lungs if I run outside.

August is also the birthday month of my sweet dog Ritz, who I lost at the end of May. He would have been eight this year. I've been thinking of having a memorial service on his birthday. His death was so unexpected that it didn't occur to me to have one at the time. His absence around the house is still so large.

Earlier this week I posted a FaceBook status that said "I have decided that this summer shall be known as The Summer of Sadness and when it's over we will never speak of it again." This summer has been tough for a number of reasons. You know how it is, once one thing goes wrong it seems like everything goes wrong. I was touched by the responses from my friends.  Some days it feels like I'm the only one in the world who has ever been this sad. My favorite comment was "Every one must have a summer of sadness as a barometer for better days. I am sorry this is your summer." My friends understand and that's a great comfort to me.

Deep down inside, I know that I will recover and things will pan out for me.  Sometimes it's easier to see that than others. I have a big trip planned for later this month. To celebrate my 35th birthday, my other half and I are going to Colorado to see my favorite band in the world (Dave Matthews Band) for two nights in a row. It's at the end of the month, the end of the summer, the end of my roller derby season. To say I'm looking forward to it is an understatement. Even though I normally don't celebrate the end of summer, I think this year I'll welcome it as another step forward.

Hurry Up And Relax

This is probably my favorite time of year. Hot hazy mornings bring afternoon thunderstorms. Although today's storm has also brought hail, which makes me cringe asI imagine all my green leafy plants getting pummeled in my garden. I can't stand to look til it's over.

Summer in Montana is different than any other place I've lived. I'd even go so far to say it's a bit magical. I think it's because it's so brief that it's truly appreciated. The days are long and even the night time temperatures are warm. There are three glorious months where I don't have to worry about bad weather, unsafe road conditions or starting my car before I plan to leave the house. I can go anywhere I want at any time I want! This isn't something I ever appreciated before I moved here.

Of course summer does have some down sides (see above mentioned hail storm). One of the jokes among locals is that there are two seasons in Montana: winter and road construction. But even if I'm stuck idling in a dusty construction zone, my windows are down and I have an incredible view.

Along with the summers is a strange sense of pressure. Many summer activities have limitations: some hiking spots have snow most months of the year, the river levels get low, wild fires may start, etc. Just last night, I was having a conversation about how it's almost mid July and we haven't camped/gone back packing/gone fishing/gone rafting. We haven't even floated the river yet, we'd better hurry up! And all this has to be balanced with yard/garden care. We left for a weekend and the weeds were taking over by the time we got back!

So how do you find that balance? Not just with summer but with life in general. It's something I struggle with regularly. How can I manage to do the things I want to do (and enjoy them) without worrying about the things I must do? And what must I do? That's always subjective. I've been making huge efforts to change my ways of thinking and my lifestyle over the past year. That's why I'm no longer working at a job where I couldn't be myself. But it's hard to do things just for me. Like taking a hot summer Sunday to lay around the house when I should be outside doing an activity I won't be able to do two months from now. I guess I need to have a little more faith in myself and know that whatever I feel like doing is the right thing for me at the time. Now I just have to wait to feel inspired to do a 20 mile backpacking trip!

Man Made Bliss

At the center of my fairly large subdivision, there is a man made pond. At one end is the community center, a gym, a restaurant and some shops, one of which serves hand dipped ice cream. The pond area serves a central location for activity in the neighborhood. There's a walking path around it, some picnic tables and benches. Looking across the water to the west you can see the breathtaking Bridger Mountain range. I never get tired of that view.

The pond is surrounded by grassy banks with the exception of two  beaches. I use the word beaches loosely because it's actually just very fine gravel, which is what passes for sand in Montana (Apparently actual sand blows away in the wind).

Right now, in the hottest days of summer the pond shines for what is truly is: the only place to cool off for many hot, dry miles. The beach areas are dotted with colorful umbrellas and teeming with children til sundown. Their blissful shouts and splashes can be heard from blocks away. Dogs launch themselves into the water after tennis balls. Anything that's inflatable and can be perched upon can be seen bobbing  gently in the water, its occupants hanging off the sides paddling. The last time I was out on the pond in our raft, I saw an inflatable mattress and couch drift by carrying folks who were enjoying beers from a cooler that also floated and was connected to their vessel by a thick rope.

The pond is full of gigantic orange fish who school together near the surface at twilight. Their dorsal fins ripple the water's surface, occasionally one will jump up, presumably gobbling up a bug. Rumor has it the pond wasn't ever stocked with these fish but they are koi and goldfish who were dumped in by unwilling owners and just happened to thrive.

What I like about the pond is that it brings people together. I hate to admit that I don't know my neighbors well. We wave to each other and exchange occasional small talk but that's it. All I have to do to get a conversation started with someone around the pond is pass them with my dog or on my roller skates. I think the active, fun atmosphere of the pond (and the fact that beer is available nearby) encourages people to loosen up. I don't ever get the feeling that anyone is in a big hurry when they're hanging out by the water. It makes me think about what life must have been like generations ago when the local swimming hole probably was what brought a community together.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Happy

       When I saw this week's topic, this photo came to mind immediately. It was taken a couple of summers ago on an awesome summer day when I had brought home a blue plastic swimming pool for Ritz and we were splashing around in it. I've always thought that if dogs truly can show emotion, this is a perfect example of a smiling happy face. 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Summer

          

            When I was growing up in Pennsylvania, the first fireflies at dusk meant school would be out in a few weeks and summer was just around the corner. Here in Montana there isn’t anything quite so clear cut to indicate that summer is coming. In fact, we had temperatures in the 80’s last week and are under a winter storm warning this weekend. There are a lot of things we do here even if the weather isn’t ideal. You can bundle up to go hiking or camping, but there is one thing you won’t do until it’s truly hot and that is go floating. This is a photo I took of myself a couple summers ago after floating the Madison River with some friends. It’s a perfect snapshot of what summer looks like to me now.