C is for Crisis and Change

Wild fires near my home June 2012

One of the most valuable lessons I've learned in the last year is that sometimes it takes a crisis to initiate change.

 I love change. I crave it in my life on a regular basis. My new job at the flower shop appeals to me in a similar way veterinary medicine did, in that I never know what each day at work is going to bring. In veterinary clinics healthy pets come in for vaccines punctuated by an emergency hit by car, toxin ingestion or broken limb. At the flower shop, I might take an order to celebrate the birth of a new baby and five minutes later an order for a funeral. I've worked at temp jobs where each day is predictable and the same as the previous. After a week or so I'm bored and ready for something new!

Growing up, my mother and I moved four times between the time I was two and twelve. During those years I also had two different step-families. When I was fifteen, my life was flipped upside down when we moved from Pennsylvania to Wyoming. Each new chapter of my life forced a reboot. Despite being difficult at the time, those moves and lifestyle changes gave me the courage and confidence to initiate change in my life whenever I felt I needed it.

I can't imagine what it's like to grow up in one house with the same set of parents, rules and family traditions. Lots of people do grow up that way and aren't as adaptable and comfortable with change as I am. In fact, I've discovered that many people fear change. For those people, something different can be threatening. If things have been done a certain way for ____years, why change it? But the fact that  I like change doesn't mean I don't also like routine and familiarity. I tend to hoard sentimental items to provide consistency in my life!

I've also learned that comfort does not equal stability. You can live in a comfortable house with nice things and a nice partner, but that doesn't mean the bottom won't drop out eventually or that change isn't necessary. And that can get confusing. If things are going "okay," why do they need to change? Even if we aren't exactly happy with the way things are, they could always be worse, right? So why take the chance and shake things up?

Well...because sometimes life needs a little shake up.

A summer thunderstorm August 2014

But people who are afraid to take bold action don't understand those of us who do. They will judge and alienate the people they don't understand. It's an unfortunate side effect for being a risk taker. It still hurts my feelings when I get "unfriended" by someone who doesn't like a choice I've made but I've learned to let it go because that's not a person I want close to me anyway.

I've come to realize that perhaps people who fear change need people like me to show them it's not an enemy and help them bring it about. I've witnessed people close to me transform into a totally different being when faced with crisis. It brings out one's true colors and that's never a bad thing.

A flower can push through rocks to grow and bloom

Seriously, where's the fire?

        Our most recent winter here in Montana was unusually mild and we all knew what that meant. We talked about it everywhere; with clients at work, with strangers in line at the grocery store “We really need more snow or we’re going to have horrible fires this summer”. Now here we are at the beginning of September, still experiencing one of our worst fire seasons in recent years. I certainly haven’t seen anything like this in the five years I’ve lived here.  I know there are other places that have had much worse fires than ours this year but really when it's the area that you live in and love and people your know being displaced, it's always terrible.  Thankfully the towns where I live and work haven’t been touched by fire but many people who live outside of the towns have been evacuated along with many poplar recreational areas. For the last couple weeks, I’ve gone about my regular routine while the air smells like a campfire and the smoke is so thick I can’t see the Bridger Mountains from my house one some days. There have been warnings that it isn’t safe to exercise outside and school children are being kept indoors for recess. Some days it’s hard to go about my normal business knowing how much damage is occurring and thinking of all the firefighters who are working around the clock to keep our towns safe. And even though I know my home is safe, it’s still a bit unnerving to be driving home and see something like this

Or to get of the interstate, look back toward Bozeman and see this

        I know that wildfires are a part of nature's cycle and a part of living in Montana. Other parts of the country have their own risks like tornadoes or earthquakes. I lived in the south for many years and experienced hurricanes but this is a little different. With a hurricane you have warning and then not much to do but get ready and wait it out. Here, it's a little different. Often I'll we'll arrive at work in the morning literally asking each other "Where's the fire?" and determining whether or not we have anything to worry about. Then we just wait, keep informed and hope for rain (without lightning).