Saturday, April 16, 2016

N is for Numbers: The Five Love Languages and The Four Agreements

I couldn't choose between the three books I had listed for F so I figured out a way to use them all!

I'm a list maker. I like outlines and guidelines. These two books appealed to me, and provided me with guidance and support, because they are in a format I enjoy.

The Four Agreements is another of the books I buy when I encounter a used copy, to pass on later to someone in need. This book provides a brief, concise plan for living a true, honest life. These are four complicated concepts summarized in simple language which helps it sink it.

"Don't take anything personally" is one of the greatest pieces of advice I've ever received, from a counselor several years ago.  It took me a while to wrap my brain around the concept, but once I did it blew the doors off my perceptions of the world. Reading The Four Agreements helped drive the idea home. Combined with the other three Agreements: Be Impeccable With Your Word, Don't Make Assumptions, and Always Do Your Best, this little book provides a code of conduct that makes sense and helps you to feel good about the way you're living.

 The 5 Love Languages had been suggested to me several times before I finally got around to buying a copy. I was suspicious of a "secret to love that lasts."

"It's up front with the best sellers," directed the sullen clerk at Barnes & Noble, with a non-verbal Duh. "Everybody has read this book," he added, presumably to make it quite clear to me that I was behind the times.

That clerk was right, I definitely wish I had read this book sooner! It clicked with me immediately and my then boyfriend, now husband read it as well. We both took the quiz in the back and compared our answers. I can't say this automatically solved all over our "issues" and assured us every lasting love. However, I can say without a doubt that this book was an important tool in the process of us
healing from said "issues," understanding each other better, and communicating clearly.

Yes, this book and quiz has helped me better understand my partner, but almost more importantly, I learned my own love languages. This book gave me permission to acknowledge that I am a physical person. It helped me understand it's okay for me to crave physical affection (romantic and non) and that having a sexual nature isn't a negative thing itself, but the ways that I handle it which can be.

Both of these books have played crucial roles in improving my quality of life. They are part of my library which I refer to in times of need.

1 comment:

  1. I actually recently recommended the 5 Love Languages to someone. It's one of those books that anyone who's in or wants to be in a relationship should absolutely read. The Four Agreements... I've never read it, though I think I've heard of it. I really like the "Agreements." It sounds like that's a really awesome book for life. (And BTW, I got my copy of "Good Morning" a few days ago, and am really enjoying it. I've wanted to make a journaling habit for years, instead of just doing it when I think of it, and so far, this is a nice way to start the day.