|Rainbow after a hail storm June 2011|
Though we're only four months into 2015, if I had to choose one lesson I've learned this year it would be this: Expectations are bullshit.
I'm a planner. I want to know what's going to happen and when. I want to think things through so I can be prepared for potential outcomes. I'm so focused on what I think is going to happen that I don't see what comes out of left field until it's too late. I don't know how to stop having any expectations at all. My brain seems to do it automatically. I've worked hard over the past few years to change these patterns in my life. I've realized that expectation sets me up for disappointment and often prevents me from missing out on the excitement of anticipation and the joy of the moment. What I try to do now is recognize that I have expectations but not hold on to them quite so tightly.
When I left for my adventure in January, I said I didn't have any expectations but I was lying, although not consciously. I had a lot of thoughts about what I thought would happen and what should happen. Some of those thoughts were accurate but many of them were not. I certainly didn't expect that I'd be home two months later but that's where I ended up and I'm grateful for that.
I think it's impossible to not have expectations; of ourselves, of others, of an event we're planning to attend. So how does one let go of them? I don't have an answer for that so I'd love to hear how other people face this struggle!