The Joy of Appreciative Living by Jacqueline Kelm

I'm sure it's clear by now that I've been significantly affected by non-fiction books designed to help increase happiness and quality of life.

The other books I've talked about so far are great for people who are already on a path of personal discovery and growth. While this book is helpful for those people also, it's the first one I recommend for someone who is suspicious of the concept of being able to make yourself happier or of having a gratitude process.

What makes this book different is that it takes a scientific approach. The author's studies have shown that people who actively participate in exercises to record what brings them joy have measurable increases in personal happiness. Those who continue to do the exercises have continued gains in happiness while those who stop have decreases in happiness.

I can tell my story over and over. I can talk about my own experiences until I'm blue in the face. But if someone doesn't get it, they don't get it. This book is full of cases studies and testimonials from participants who were admittedly unhappy and experienced a great difference after participating in the author's study. The straightforward presentation of the data is undeniable. The steps are explained clearly and the 28 Day Plan is completely manageable.

I like this book because it's different from others in the genre. It's not super "touchy feely." When life gets overwhelming, I can lose interest in the "fun" techniques that make me feel better and this book reminds me that I do have the ability to boost my happiness in a simple way.

Feeling All The Feels Is Hard Work

I went to a church service yesterday to see my husband sing. During the prayer at the end of her sermon, the Pastor referred to four victims of two separate tragic crimes which occurred in our town last week. I was tearing up as we said Amen. My husband's solo was immediately afterward and then the congregation sang Amazing Grace. Talk about a triple whammy. I couldn’t stop crying.

I couldn’t sing. I couldn’t look at anyone. All I could do was cry. And feel. All the feelings at once: proud of my husband, grateful for him and our marriage, love for his family who was there, and for my family that is far away, grief for the crime victims, grief for losses in our family, for friends fighting cancer. Each feeling was connected to the next until they became one giant pulsing emotion.

After the service, my husband received several compliments on his solo. “You brought your wife to tears,” commented one white haired lady with a smile. My sweet husband smiled and rubbed my arm. He knew the truth.

I don’t know the victims of the homicides in our town. That doesn’t make the violence any less senseless, the losses any less tragic and horrific. I think of their grieving families and my heart breaks.

 

At home, my husband came downstairs after changing out of his suit to find me lying on the couch weeping again. He came over to comfort me but didn’t speak. “You know what’s weird?” I sniffed, “Right now, I’m crying because I’m so grateful that everyone I love is alive.” 

He sat with me for a while, then left to make us some tea. I got down on the floor with my dog Charlie. He’s a very emotionally intelligent creature. (I have a friend who refers to him as a Buddha.) I curled up beside him and he touched his nose to the top of my head and we stayed this way for a while. I called to my husband to come and take this photo because this was real. This is what it looks like to be a sensitive, emotional human being who gets overwhelmed by feeling and thinking and loving. Sometimes I just can’t move. 

My husband is a sensitive empathic soul as well. He says “It’s a blessing and a curse.” I don’t necessarily think it’s ever a curse but it isn’t always easy or fun. 

Friends who read my blog and Facebook posts often compliment me on my positivity and gratitude practice. I appreciate that people notice. That’s the upside. I usually don’t discuss the flipside, but I feel called to talk about it today.  

As one of my favorite writers/self-help Gurus, Glenn Doyle Melton says, “Life is hard—not because we’re doing it wrong, just because it’s hard.”

When we live fully, when we love fully, when we appreciate life as much as we can, life is difficult. That shit hurts. When we drift through our days without looking around or being passionate about things, it can be easier. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve thrown up my head back and wailed “Why do I have to care so much?" knowing that if I cared less, I'd hurt less.

The thing is if I didn’t care so much, I wouldn’t be me. If I didn’t check cardboard boxes along the road to make sure there aren’t kitten inside, if I didn’t weep when I read the last Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants book, then I also wouldn’t connect with the performers I work with or be in tune with my pets’ health. It’s all the same muscle. Is it my brain or my heart or my soul? Or a combination of the three? I have no idea but it’s real. 

I know I'm not the only soul like myself out there. We're trained from a young age to be ashamed of our emotional selves and hide them. So what do you do when the feelings get to be too much?

Does This Blog Post Make Me Look Fat?

My friend Amber is participating in a 365 Grateful Project this year. Each day, she posts a photo to her social media of someone/thing she is grateful for that day and a little blurb about the person/thing. As we hung out one evening, she asked if she could take my photo for that day’s post. I was honored.

When I got home and logged on to Facebook, her post popped up right away. The first thing I thought was Oh God, I look so fat.

 

Here’s what she wrote: “1/14/16 - Ramona - I am so happy to have this woman as part of my tribe. She is fierce and strong and sensitive and kind. She has taught me so much in the past couple years of friendship.” That’s incredible. You wish someone would write that about you on Social Media, right? It’s wonderful. But before I could let in sink in how kind and true her words were, I sat there berating myself for a fat face, bad haircut and wide body. 

Would I ever say anything like that to one of my friends? Never. I don’t think I’d even talk like that to someone I dislike. So why do I do it to myself?

I could list all the reasons I’ve gained weight since I've retired from roller derby. Some are valid reasons, some are excuses, but I’m not going there. I’m working on accepting that yes, my body is different than it was two years ago. It’s not good or bad, it's different. It simply is. 

The thing is, I know my body is amazing. This body of mine has played roller derby, given and taken hard hits, run races, hiked to mountain peaks, skied down mountain faces. It walks my dogs every day. This body has worked many long hours on tired feet. My body has danced, laughed, cried, taken lovers. This body has hugged some of my favorite people in the whole world. My body has healed from severe illness and injury, miraculously recovered from hangovers and migraines. It displays my beautiful tattoos, houses my soul. 

All of those things are astounding. They require strength, compassion, perseverance. Why is it so difficult to remember that my body is me? It's not a separate entity to be fought against.

Now, I want to go back to Amber’s 365 Grateful post because do you see what I did? I made it about me when it isn’t at all. 

So what's the post about if not its subject? Is it about Amber? Not really. Each post is about love and connection. Most of her photos are of people and in every single one of them, that person has a big smile and is obviously feeling loved.

With each post, Amber is giving love, showing appreciation, putting it out into The Universe without asking for anything in return. Maybe the least I can do is accept that graciously. Instead of disliking my photo, I try to look at it and see what she sees.

There's a gap between perception and reality. Sometimes it's bigger than others. The way I see myself is not the way others view me but what is true?

My sweet friend has inspired me so much with her posts, and I plan to start my own 365 Grateful Project on February 1st!

Get Ready For Gratitude

Tomorrow is the last day of October. That means a few things: Halloween, candy, Daylight Savings Time ends, and then it's November. 

Your Facebook news feed will first be flooded with photos of your friends and their children (and dogs) in Halloween costumes, and then with a month's worth of status updates about what people are thankful for. 

I enjoy participating each November, posting each day about what I'm grateful for. I've written about this before. More than once. 

Over the summer, I was in a class with a woman who announced that gratitude is over rated. It took every ounce of energy I had to stay seated and not climb up on my soap box to tell that woman about everything she's missing out on!

Fortunately for me, this blog is my personal soap box! Instituting a gratitude practice changed my life. I can't emphasize that enough. Life is difficult. Some days have me in tears. If at the end of these days, I'm not grateful for a glass of wine, my hot tub and a spouse who is present, then what are these things for?

I've heard complaints about people who post negative updates all year long but are suddenly thankful every day in November. So what? Good for them! The beauty of Facebook is that it's optional. You don't have to log-on or read someone's status updates or engage with anyone. The "Unfollow" option is the greatest feature ever added, use it! And while we're on the subject, I'd like to remind you: these people are supposedly your friends. If you're not glad to see what your friend is grateful for, then maybe that person isn't truly your friend. (I'm a big advocate of frequent re-evaluation of one's friend list.)

Even if those people annoy you, even if you think it's hokey, even if you think gratitude is over rated, I challenge you to do it anyway. You don't have to post to Facebook. Just sit down once each day in November and write down three things you are thankful for that day. If you can't find three, start with one. 

If you need some more convincing, try this book: The Joy of Appreciative Living, it's one of my favorites. The facts are impossible to ignore: people who list things they are thankful for each day are genuinely happier. 

Make this November about you and your gratitude! Then please tell me about it!

Some Thoughts On Tragedy

I sat up with a gasp a 2 o'clock this morning, in the middle of a dream about a high school classmate of mine who was in a horrific car accident earlier this week and is still hospitalized with severe injuries.

I woke from that dream sweaty, with a racing heart. I turned on my bedside lamp and leaned back against my pillows, attempting to get my bearings. I looked around my dim bedroom, at my dogs sprawled out around my feet, my husband curled up beside me sound asleep, and I thought How lucky am I?

I know that sounds cliche but there's a reason cliches exist, because they're relatable and generally true.

On one hand, I think How can I go about my day laughing and working when such suffering is happening to people I know? and then I think How can I not? That's my duty right now. There's nothing else I can do. I think of them and send positive vibes their way and then I go on living. I am overflowing with empathy and gratitude today.

One of the most beautiful yet frustrating things about being human is that the world doesn't stop turning when crisis befalls us. I have gone through experiences (grief, illness, divorce) where I've  wondered how in the hell everyone else was acting so normal. As I get older, I realize that they had to, just as I have to now. That doesn't mean I'm not acknowledging others' tragedies and creating space for them.

Hug your loved ones today, hug your dogs, hug yourself. Wave to the other drivers on the road and send them thanks for paying attention and not causing an accident. Do those things every day.

So often we travel around through our days without realizing how connected we all are, how much our lives are in the hands of the strangers around us. Saturday afternoon I was in Wal-Mart (I know, what was I thinking?!) when there was a sudden sharp BANG. I grabbed my husband's arm and hid my face in his chest. I thought it was most certainly a gunshot. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for another bang or a scream. It turns out that a child had popped one of those large bright rubber balls and everyone was okay. But look at how everyone in that store could have had their life change in less than a second. Those things happen.

I wasn't able to get much sleep after my 2am wake up. I tried to distract myself with a book but I'm currently reading a sci-fi novel about a man who died and unbeknownst to his wife, had arranged to have his head cryogenically frozen so he can live forever in the future. The poor widow is fighting to get back her husband's head. Needless to say, that didn't take my mind off the tragic thoughts it was holding onto! It's a good book though!

As I made my To Do List this morning and drank my spinach smoothie, the thoughts that made up this post came to me. I felt compelled to write them down before they slipped away, and share them with the world. Why? Because I can. I have this day and I don't want to waste it. See? A cliche again, but so true.

So What Have We Learned? A to Z Reflections

My reflection in The Bean in Chicago Jan. 2015

This is the third year I've participated in the A to Z Blogging Challenge and my easiest to complete by far. The challenge came at a good time for me this year. I think I'm in a groove with my writing that I haven't quite found before. I like doing this challenge because it shows me that I can write every day. Like most writers I know, I struggle to carve out time in my daily life for writing. Posting daily, and seeing the list of thousands of other participants who are doing it as well, inspires me and motivates me to write more. I think a daily post is not something I could maintain long term but I still write every day and hope to post at least twice a week.

I spent the month of April blogging about what I believe to be the most valuable lessons I've learned in my life so far. Let's take a look at the full list:

Anything can happen.
Breakfast is important.
Crisis is sometimes needed to facilitate change.
I need to have dogs in my life.
Expectations are bullshit.
I wouldn't be who I am without my friends.
Practicing gratitude improves quality of life
Finding humor in difficult situations makes them bearable.
Ice cream makes everything better.
One woman's junk is another's treasure.
Kindness is a cycle, dole it out and you will receive it.
Things always look better in the light of day.
Marriage is different for everyone.
It's okay to say no.
Sometimes, I just need to go outside.
It's important to re-evaluate your priorities from time to time.
If you hate your job, you should quit it.
Returning is not the same as never having left.
It's totally okay to be a woman who likes sex.
Try new things.
Trust The Universe.
Eat vegetables.
Write things down.
Find your own xanadu.
Don't yell at people.
Have a zest for life.

Looking at that list makes me proud of myself! Not only did I write every day but I was able to look at some of the most crucial events of my life, find meaning in them and put it into words to share with others. That's pretty impressive, if I do say so myself!

One of the things I love most about doing this challenge is that it connects me with likeminded folks who connect with my posts and respond to me. This month I've gotten blog comments, personal emails, and text messages from people who relate to my experiences and enjoy my writing. That fills my heart with joy because after all, this is why I write. I'd like to say a huge heartfelt thank you to everyone who read my posts in April. Your support and feedback makes me a better writer and human being.

G is for Gratitude

I've written a great deal about gratitude because it's a concept that's important to me.

After a rough break up in 2009, I was hit with the realization that things happen for me, not to me. That's when I started a regular gratitude practice and began to notice a huge shift in my quality of life.

Being grateful is not about being happy every single second of every day. It's not about glossing over undesirable situations. It's about seeing beyond what's right in front of you, to see the big picture.

Terrible things happen in life. Sometimes I make poor choices. Having a gratitude practice doesn't change any of that. I still have days where I am down in the dumps. Since 2009, I have dealt with grief, heartbreak, regret, anger, frustration and illness. But in each of those situations, when I'm finished crying and feeling sorry for myself, I can wipe my snotty nose and say "Okay, well I'm grateful I'm alive." For me, it's about being able to deal with the death of my sweet dog by being grateful he didn't suffer through a long illness or dealing with my brain injury by being grateful it wasn't worse, being grateful I had loved ones to care for me.

Each day, I write down at least three things I am grateful for that day. Sometimes they're deep thoughts and sometimes not so much. Some days I'm grateful for the love and support that is in my life, for kindness and acceptance. Other days it's chapstick, white wine and a good book. All of those things are important in their own way!

Making my gratitude lists has helped me evaluate my priorities in my life. It points out what's important in day to day life and that can come in handy when I need to make decisions about work.

Here's my advice: Just start saying it every day, "I am grateful." Back in 2009, I put a sticky note on my bathroom mirror with those those exact words written on it. Stand in front of your mirror, look at yourself and say "I am grateful," even if you don't believe it. Because the funny thing is, after a while you will start to believe it. To believe it and to know it and to see it all around you.

Sunshine Song by Jason Mraz

I've liked Jason Mraz since I first heard The Remedy in the early 2000's, so I went to see him in concert when he came to Bozeman almost five years ago. This is one of my favorite adventures I've had with my good friend Jake, who was my roommate for a while. He's a huge Jason Mraz fan and thanks to his membership in the official fan club, we were able to get into the show shortly before the general public and secure a spot directly in front of the stage. After the concert I think I borrowed all of his CDs that Jake had! 

This is the song Jason opened with at that concert. I had never heard it before but liked it right away. As the concert went on I was more and more impressed with Jason's messages of positivity and gratitude and his general sense of mellowness. He performed barefoot and drank from a travel mug with tea bags hanging over the side! Before the concert I hadn't realized what a down to earth soul Jason is. I've been to many concerts over the years and I've found that seeing an artist live changes my relationship with them in some way (almost always in a good way, occasionally in a negative way). Even if I'm already a fan of a musician, standing in front of him or her for a performance allows me to gain something from the music that is simply missing when listening to a recorded version. 

My favorite line is the first one "Sometimes the sun shines on other peoples houses and not mine". Isn't that a lovely way to say: sometimes life sucks and other people have it better than me? A few months after the concert, I lost my job and was unemployed for three months. I would walk my dog around the pond near our house and listen to this song two or three times in a row. Last year when that sweet dog passed away I found myself listening to this song again, to remember the times he had walked with me and brought me comfort, and also to get me through that dark time. 

There isn't an official video for this song. It's never been released as a single (that I know of) and I can't find a version of it that isn't live. I chose this video I found on YouTube because it was obviously recorded by someone in the front at a concert and it's strikingly similar to the experience I had. 

Tis The Season...

When the holiday season rolled around this year, I remember thinking "Nope. No way. Not interested. No Christmas for me this year please." If you read this blog regularly, you'll know that 2013 has not been a stellar year in our household. There have been a few drastic changes since last winter. In fact, this is my first holiday season without my beloved dog Ritz. To say I wasn't looking forward to it is an understatement. I haven't worked full time since May so I wouldn't have nearly the same amount of funds to spend on presents as I have previously. My brain could come up with all sorts of reasons that Christmas would be awful. However despite my best efforts at ignoring it December arrived anyway, in all it's bright cheerful glory.

Typically at this time of year I'm gritting my teeth to get through my To Do list one item at a time, until it's January and things go back to normal. As I've mentioned before, I'm not a "Christmas person". I'm an only child from a small family and while I certainly recall that Christmas was fun as a kid, it's never been a huge fancy deal for me. I said that to someone recently and she replied "Are you a Christmas hater?!" Woah, I definitely wouldn't go that far! I like the idea of Christmas time, just not the actuality of it. I like all the special food, exchanging gifts and hanging colored lights on the house. What I don't like is the frantic feeling that comes with all the obligatory shopping, gift giving and socializing. There's always a lot to do in a short amount of time!

Each year my boyfriend and I trek into the mountains on our snow shoes and cut down a tree to bring home and decorate. While I have never loved the idea of a live tree in my living room, it's one of the traditions we are making as our own. I was fully prepared to make the trip again this year as a part of my own process of moving forward without Ritz. We couldn't go last weekend due to dangerous sub zero temperatures and this week my other half is battling the illness I had a couple weeks ago. I could feel how heavy his heart was when he admitted to me that we probably wouldn't be able to go get a tree this year. While I was secretly dancing a jig inside, I never like to see someone I love be sad so I thought of a compromise and went searching for the small fake tree I knew was tucked away someplace in our house. It was high on a shelf in a closet where it's sat in its dusty box since before Reggie & I were even dating. I put it up this weekend and hung our smallest ornaments on it's flexible plastic branches. It's definitely not the same as a big live tree but it still feels Christmasy.

Last year's tree

This year's tree

Unexpectedly, putting up that little tree started a chain reaction of holiday spirit in me. Once I got it decorated I was even inspired to hang some lights around the living room window and put a wreath on the front door. On Sunday I spent the entire day with a friend, baking and cooking like maniacs until we had her kitchen  covered with cooling racks and colored frosting! After I put together plates of goodies for some friends, I decided to dig out greeting cards to attach to the plates. As I was filling out the cards I started thinking of other people in my life who deserve a card and a note of thanks. Handing out those cards and treats this week has been pretty powerful for such a small gesture. Everyone appreciates knowing they are thought of and most people I know like cookies too! For me, finding a way to show my gratitude that was within my means was incredibly important and left me feeling more comfortable and hopeful about my current circumstances.

Going through tough times this year made me acutely aware of the people and circumstances in my life that are positive. While part of my heart is still sad and grieving for Ritz, the rest of it is full of joy and love for the sweet puppy I have for his first Christmas with us. My loved ones rallied around me when I was low and celebrated with me when I reached new milestones. My mom also lost a wonderful dog this summer and has a new puppy. I'm looking forward to visiting her more than I have in as long as I can remember. Introducing our pups will be fun!

My two dogs with Santa this year

So, during the times I catch myself thinking "I can't wait until this year is over", I stop and take a deep breath. Even though my life is different than it was a year ago, it's simpler. The people who are in my life now are there because I have actively chosen to maintain those relationships. I might not be working full time but when I do go to work at a temp job, I'm happy to be there. I don't have any co-workers to bicker with or a staff party to arrange that no one actually wants to attend. I'm not going to visit my family because I feel obligated to but because I want to spend time with them and give the few special gifts I've bought. Instead of feeling like Christmas is about obligation, today I feel like it's more about opportunity. Because my life has changed so much this year, I'm quite aware that by this time next year it could all be altered again. It makes me hug my friends and listen patiently to my mom repeat a story. I still wouldn't call myself a "Christmas person" but who knows if that might change by next year!

You're Welcome

I was out for a run this afternoon when I felt compelled to stop and take this picture

                   

I'm sure you can guess that part of the reason I like this route is for the view. Running toward those mountains always makes me feel strong, like I'm officially a Montanan. Especially on days like this when it's barely over 30 degrees and my nose is running so much it's dripping onto my chest. I snapped the picture, put my glove back on and continued on my way.  I was headed toward home, thinking about the post I wanted to write today. I tend to get great ideas when I run so I do a lot of writing/editing in my head.  As I approached a crosswalk, I slowed my pace with my eyes on a black car, trying to figure out if it was turning my way when-BAM- it was crashed into by a white pick up truck. I'm not sure if I said "Holy shit" out loud (I think I did), but I was also thinking "Woah, I'm a witness". The black car had spun around and was stopped in the middle of intersection, the white truck still up against it so I jogged over to make sure everyone was okay. Everything happened fast but at that moment I remember seeing several vehicles going around the accident, and I was surprised that no one else was stopping. Everyone involved was okay but no one had a phone and someone asked me to call 911. Once police were on the way I made sure (again) that everyone was okay, pushed my ear buds back into place and ran home. 

What a rush! Talk about being in the right place at the right time! If I hadn't stopped to snap that photo and admire the view, I would have been just a little further along the path and might not have seen the accident. As my Nikes crunched on the snow in my driveway, I let out a big exhale and thought "I am so glad I was there to help". And this leads me back to my original idea for today's post that was going through my head as I ran...

This is the fifth day of the Gratitude Project I wrote about in my last post. Each day I've been posting a FaceBook status that lists three positive things about the day. Maybe you're doing something similar or have friends who are. Just a few days into November, I'm noticing something I wasn't expecting. (Although I suppose I should have been, it is FaceBook after all.) People are complaining about other people's daily posts of gratitude! When I saw the first comment a few days ago, I cocked my head and read it again. I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not. The next day I saw another person's comment which was clearly not a joke. Today I say a meme that said "November- When people who complain on FaceBook for 11 months are suddenly thankful every day". I wanted to shout into my computer and across the internet "YES! YES! THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!" Everybody complains, it's human nature. I like to think I don't do it much, especially on FaceBook but I know I'm guilty at times. Everybody needs to vent. The friends I've seen posting daily words of thanks are people from all over the country, from every walk of life. Some of them haven't surprised me by participating but a few of them have. To me, that's the beauty of this. That's the whole point! You can be grumpy for 11 months and then think "Oh crap, it's the month of Thanksgiving, I should really think about what I'm grateful for", or you can post what you're thankful for every single day of the year, I don't care. I like to think that maybe someone who's been down in the dumps might see my posts of gratitude and think twice before they gripe about whatever is under their skin. I know that's some serious wishful thinking but hey, I'm an optimist.

Not everybody is full of gratitude every day. That's fine. Bad stuff happens, I get it. We lose loved ones, lose jobs, cars break down, people and pets get sick. It sucks. It makes us feel hopeless. Trust me, I've been there. But I know that when I've been down that low I would never have recovered had I not been able to find other positive things around me. It doesn't happen right away and it's certainly easier said than done, but it's the truth.

I've been doing a lot of self reflection in recent months. I've been reading about meditation, karma,  a path to awakening. Everything I read tells me the same thing, which I've now come to see as true with my entire being: Our joy and suffering is not caused by what happens to us but by how we respond to it. The reason I write for this blog is the same reason I post my FaceBook statuses; I want to share my experiences with others and connect with people who can relate to them and view the world as I do. Everybody likes different things. If someone doesn't like what I write, I can't let that stop me.  I have faith that The Universe guides me to be where I need to be and my run today was a perfect example.

Thank You

As part of this blogging challenge, I've been reading 2-10 other blogs per day. That's a lot of posts over the past 28 days! One thing that I've been continually impressed by is how many of these blogs focus on positivity and gratitude. I just don't think there's enough of either of those things in our world today. Sometimes I feel like I'm in the minority, being a person who believes we all have something to be thankful for each day. This challenge has been a blessing for me in many ways but this is probably one of the biggest: It has restored my faith in humanity a bit, you might say. I feel a sense of relief, seeing how many other souls out there are similar to my own. We're plugging away each day, sharing our thoughts and experiences with positivity and humor. We give each other feedback and inspiration, sometimes intentionally but mostly just by being present and true to ourselves. I have been moved to tears more than once so far by a friend's or fellow blogger's comment on my posts. Knowing that there are people out there who enjoy reading what I write is a feeling I haven't experienced to this degree before. It has motivated me to write more and more and to push myself further than I have before. I have more ideas than I know what to do with right now which is an incredible feeling!

While I've been doing this challenge all month I've also been participating in a 30 day photo challenge on FaceBook. Each day has an assigned subject so I go through my day looking for an opportunity to take the photo. Combine that with also thinking about writing a blog each day and I've been a regular idea factory this month! I have more ideas than I know what to do with right now which is an incredible feeling! I've been taking tons of photos and carrying a notebook with me at all times so I can jot down thoughts and descriptions. I'm documenting my life in a way I never have before.  It's the first time in a long time that I've really felt this sense of worthiness about what I create.

I believe everything happens for a reason. There were some sad and unfortunate events that led to me being home by myself this summer but if they hadn't happened, I wouldn't have had the time to write for this challenge each day. I definitely wouldn't have produced the material that I have. I have questioned a few of the posts I've written this month. More than once I've cringed when clicking the "Publish" button thinking people would give negative feedback or think less of me for writing it. But I clicked it anyway and I am glad I did. I'm sure everyone hasn't loved every single thing I've written (I sure don't) but I haven't gotten any feedback that was less than positive. I'm already looking forward to the next challenge!

G is for Gratitude

Several years ago, I was living in a basement apartment in the home of a lady I’ll call Annie. She was single and about a dozen years older than me. Whenever I saw her in passing, I’d ask “How are you today Annie?” and she’d always answer with “Oh I’m grateful”.  After a while, it was like 'oh come on, nobody is grateful ALL THE TIME', but as I got to know her I came to realize it was true. She was always calm and pleasant, able to see the positive side of whatever I was griping about. One evening over glasses of wine, I was voicing my frustrations over my current romantic situation. I exhaled an exasperated “Why does this keep happening to me?” to which Annie replied “It’s because you keep allowing it to happen”. I said “Huh?” She lent me a copy of The Secret on DVD and I put off watching it because I thought the whole thing sounded hokey. I finally watched it one night when I was home bored and my life has never been the same since. I’ll admit the presentation is cheesy but the content is solid. There are some interesting, charismatic speakers and by the end, I was practically standing up cheering for myself and the great changes I was about to make! A few months later, I went through a bizarre, messy relationship/break up and that’s when it occurred to me that situations such as this were happening for me and not just to me. My heart was broken and my world was upside down for a short time but I was still standing and I still lived in a beautiful place. Eventually I was able see all the good things that came out of the experience and look back on that time in my life as a transformation phase. It’s when I started to see how much there really is to be grateful for in each day. I started by writing in my journal at the end of each day and listing three things I was thankful for right then. If you've never done something similar, I suggest you give it a try. I moved out of that apartment that same year. It was time to move on for several different reasons. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that Annie crossed my path so that I could finally learn what The Universe had been trying to teach me.